How this is going to work, I have no idea. I’m just checking if it works right now. Wish me luck !! ♥

Merry Christmas for Saturday. I hope everyone had a good time, spending it with those they love the most. I had less presents than I normally would, but thats okay. I got a Laptop finally. Its my brothers old one, and its like the one I had that died, but this one actually still has its original charger. I also got other things that dont really equate to the awesomeness of the laptop. Except this one present...



Yeah, A Six foot Edward Cullen cut-out. Haha. My mum said I'd know what it was as soon as I saw the box, but I hadn't the foggiest. We had a lot of food for christmas, and now we're living on leftover left overs. Its not that nice. This is the time where I'd gladly swap a tub of pringles for a salad. But then again, Ive always loved my fruit, veg and salad.

So, New years. Last year I spent it with Rebecca, and this year It shall be the same. Except this year we've got Lizzie too! Yay. Last year we dailyboothed, got my dad to order a takeaway for us from my house to be delivered to Becca's dad's and googled the lyrics to that new years song.... Haha.

Resolutions? .... Will I even stick to them? Did I acheive last years?

Last years resloutions:
1: Find a Job ------ Thats a big fat no.
2: Work harder at school ------- I dont know, I doubt it though
3: Sort Procrastination out ----- definatly not. Im still procrastinating
4: Less Chatroll ---- Yup. I used to be on it all the time. Now, hardly ever.
5: Keep up to date with my diary ----- I guess this blog helps with that. Yes?

So, Two out of five I acheived. Thats not too good, is it?

This years?
1: A-levels atleast D's in all subjects. C's would be better, but be realistic.
2: Get a Job
3: Read at least Ten books.
4: Continue to blog.
5: Less time on internet.

You know, my mum told me that I need to find a job as soon as possible. I told her that I can't do school and a job at the same time because I'm struggling with school on its own as it is, but she wouldnt listen. It was all "Thomas applied online" and "I lose £200 a month when you finish school, you'll have to make it up" I'm seventeen! I dont want these kind of pressures on me! I'm surpised ive been able to cope with this for as long as I have. I was near crying point in the back of the car when we had this discussion. My mum just doesnt understand. I was all "Just because Thomas can do this and that doesnt mean I can. Individual differences and everything"... She didnt give a flying fuck about what I had to say, she's just concerned that she wont have enough money for her smoking habit after I leave school.
I prehaps made a mistake by saying "You'd rather just not get a job yourself and live off Dad's money for the rest of your life" On the brighter side, Im so proud of my brother right now. He's quitting smoking at the moment. Two weeks without a cigarette.

On the less brighter side, I have a lot of psychology revision to do. 28th January, exactly a month from today, I have the exam. I havent started revising yet, and that makes me stressed and upset, like I am now. The other things happening right now just add to that stress, and I get more upset. Im getting near to one of those times where I just sit crying from being stressed out by everything for a few days. Its a really depressing time, and its like im bi-polar or something. Lets hope its just one of those days, as I keep telling myself. Tomorrow, a new day, I'll be fine.


Atleast I hope so.




♥ ♥

I opened my eyes, blinking a few times to clear the haze, to see Jacksons face above me. He smiled down at me. "Sorry, I tried to carry you home without waking you up."
"It's okay" I said, holding onto his neck so I didn’t fall. He didn’t stop to put me down, so I leant my head against his chest and he chuckled lightly.
"Comfy?" He asked.
"Comfier than Ben's sofa. I think Sam stashed playboy magazines under the cushions. It was lumpy." Jackson Laughed, and I heard Ben beside us laughing too.
"Sound's about right." Ben said, opening the door to the apartment. Jackson carried me in and put me down on the sofa, pulling the blankets over me.
"Night, Vick" He smiled down at me, hovering for a few seconds and then went to leave. I coughed to get his attention, sitting up. He chuckled. "What?"
"Where's my hug?" I said, smiling and opening my arms. He came back over and leant down, wrapping his arms around me, as I did the same. When he stood up again, he smiled and kissed my forehead, before going to his room.
"Night Vick." He repeated when he got to the door, and then disappeared, closing the door behind him. Ben waved and I waved back, laughing lightly. I changed into Jackson's sweats and shirt before curling back up on the sofa.

The lights were all off, it was after midnight, and I sat staring out of the window, up at the moon.
"What’s happening? Why all of this now? What reason?" I whispered, before looking over at Jackson's door. I got up and crept over to it. I pressed my ear against the door and heard nothing. I don't know what came over me, but I slowly opened the door and peeked in. He was asleep. I smiled. He was so cute. Cuter than when he played Nick Fiske in Beautiful People. Cuter than Jasper and Alice. I snuck in and slowly, carefully, sat at the end of his bed. He was breathing evenly, and I watched him like this for about five minutes when I thought to myself.
'What am I doing? I'm like a stalker! It’s crazy. I'm like a female version of Edward, except not a vampire. Get out now, before he wakes up"
I stood up slowly and walked back over to the door. Just as I got to the door, I heard something behind me. I looked. Jackson was sat up slightly, leaning on his elbow, rubbing his eye with the other hand, looking at me.
"Vicky? What's the matter?"
"Nothing. I'm fine. Sorry. Go back to sleep."
"Come here" He said, sitting up properly now and waving his arm, indicating for me to go over to him.

I ran my hand through my hair as I walked back over to the bed. Was he worried about me?
"Come on, Vick." He smiled sleepily, pulling the covers back for me to climb in. I stood for a few more seconds, staring at him, and then I climbed in, getting comfy. I lay down next to him and he pulled the cover over me and pulled me close, wrapping his arms around me.
"You sure you’re okay?" He asked. I nodded, speechless. I got comfy, curling up next to him and smiling at him.
"Thanks, Jackson."
"Call me Jay." He smiled, closing his eyes and holding me close to him, as if he could protect me to any bad dreams he thought I might be having.
"Thanks Jay" I said, smiling as I got comfortable in his arms, closing my eyes.
"OhMyGodOhMyGodOhMyGod" I squealed. Becca laughed.
"What!?"
"I’m... Asleep. In his bed!" I squealed excitedly.
"Oh god, you didn’t did you? 'Cos technically, you’re only eight."
We laughed.
"No, of course not. He thought I had a bad dream. He's so sweet! If it’s possible to fall even more in love with him, I just did." I grinned.

"You’re going to have to start figuring out how long it is youre here for each time." Becca said.
"You work on that too. We'll figure out the whole time thing sooner or later." I nodded.
"And, How the heck you’re doing this?"
"It seems like I'm still there when I'm here. Do you know what I mean? This is pretty confusing for me" I giggled.
"Yeah. Like, you go poof here, but there, you’re just asleep" She nodded. "Maybe... Close your eyes, Vicky." I did as she said.
"And this is in aid of what exactly?" I could feel arms around me. My cheek warmed up. I opened my eyes.
"That." She grinned.
"I can feel what I feel there. He's still got his arms around me." I squealed.
"Try again." Becca said, leaning back on her pillow, pulling elphy into her lap. I close my eyes. His arms were still there, my cheek was still warm. I opened my eyes and raised my eyebrows at Rebecca.
"What?" She asked. I rubbed my forehead. "He kissed you in your sleep. Adorable!" She laughed.

"Poof. Have fun." Becca laughed. I could hear it getting fainter until I couldnt hear her at all. Jackson still had his arms around me. My cheek was warm, like I had felt. My head was on his chest. I was curled up on his side. I smiled, opening my eyes slowly to see the light in the window. I sat up and looked down at Jackson and his eyes were closed. How had he kissed my forehead? When had he?
"Jay?" I whispered. His eyes shot open and I almost had a heart attack. "God don't do that" I said, hitting hit stomach lightly. He chuckled.
"Sorry. What's up?"
"Nothing. Just wondering if you were awake, is all." I said, smiling down at him.

Ben and Jackson got ready for lesson’s and headed out of the apartment. I was back on the sofa, television on mute and eating a slice of toast. I was watching the weather, thinking. I brushed the crumbs off my hands and got up, taking my plate over to the kitchen sink. I raised my eyebrow, looking at all the mess. Boys. I spent about an hour washing all the dirty dishes and then another ten minutes finding where things belonged.
I looked at the clock as I made my way back over to the sofa. An hour to kill. I closed my eyes.
“Figured it out yet?” I asked. Becca jumped.
“Geezus… and no. Have you?” She asked.
"No. It would be easier if I slept at the right times...." I replied.
“I agree, I would be a lot easier that way. You sleep too much, anyway.” Becca she said
“Do not” I rolled my eyes. Hearing a noise, I looked toward the wardrobe. “Okay, I’ll sleep for twelve hours and stay awake for that too.” I nodded and closed my eyes. I felt a soft warm breeze and, opening my eyes again, I saw Ben G looking down at me.
“Ben was right, you do sleep a lot.” He said, chuckling, putting a cigarette in his mouth and lighting it.

"You washed up?" I heard Ben J say from the general direction of the sink.
"Yes. because I'm guessing nobody would have done it otherwise." I rolled my eyes.
"Thanks, Vick!" he grinned at me. I coughed, inhaling a puff of smoke. I shot a look at Ben G and he took a step back. Jackson chuckled from the door, taking his shoes off.
"Sorry, I've been craving for a smoke all day." Ben said, smiling and flicking ash into an ashtray on the windowsill.
"You should really quit that you know. It'll damage your lungs. And, It's isnt cool to smoke, either." I started my mini-lecture. My Mum had always smoked, and it had always bothered me. I didnt want to see these guys getting ill because of smoking. Heck, I didnt want them getting ill full stop. After being here for only two or three days, they felt like my best friends.
"Yeah, yeah. Thats what my Mom told me. I don't care." Ben G said, rolling his eyes and taking another drag.
"Please, at least work on quitting?" I said, looking down at the floor.
"Whatever. I'll think about it."

In three days, it will be christmas eve. In four, christmas. Five, boxing day. And then christmas will be over. We'll be left with presents that we either love, or don't intend on ever using. I have my laptop, and with that, I intend on keeping a promise in three days. I dont remember how far back I made this promise, but S and I shall be Skypeing. SHALL! It will happen. I made this promise with the intent of keeping it. So, Ha!

I will post on christmas all the things and people I am thankful for in my life, because after those presents, youre still left with what you had. The same people in your life that you can't do without.

This weekend, I went to Pewsey to visit Becca and I was meant to get home but I missed my bus watching Eclipse for the second time in two days. Whoops. Plus, the snow was gay. Did I mention I went without telling my parents, and I didnt tell them I couldnt get home either. Double whoops.

I accidentily saw that my Mum got me a Doctor Who 2011 annual. She left it on a piece of paper in the livingroom. I sat down, went to move it and glanced at it. Triple whoops. December aint goin' too well, is it? Oh, speaking like that reminds me! That Time Jumper thang. I think I should be like "Time Jumper: Jackson Rathbone"..... That way, I could make more with different people. The possibilities! I could have Becca going back in time and meeting Scott Pattinson! ... If I knew how to write Scott. Or It could just be me going back and meeting famous people. I could ruin Justin Bieber! *Evil laugh* Now we're talking. Haha

I will post the next part of it next time I post. *Nods lots*

'Til next time. Merry Christmas! ♥

I ended up back on the sofa, curled up again and watching some television. I drank my water and refilled it twice by the time it was twelve, and flicked through the news channels. 2001. Why was this bothering me? What happened in 2001? I tried to think, but I couldn't remember. It may be now, and I may be seventeen, but it was technically nine years ago, and I was eight. Does that mean there's a twenty six year old me walking around in 2001, along with the seventeen year old me? Wait. Oh this was too confusing. My head started to hurt a little, again, so I muted the television and closed my eyes.
"Stop disappearing!" Becca said.
"I can't help it," I said, staring at her laptop. "I don't think I should read that." I looked away.
"What's happening?"
"I don't know, but it's kind of cool. I'm in 2001!"
"I noticed" she said, pointing at the laptop.
"Hey, Google the important events of 2001. I can't remember. The date's the eleventh of July."
"Don't disappear on me. One second you’re here, the next you’re not."
"I've been at Jackson's place all morning."
"Well, apparently hours for you is minutes for me here. Or something like that. Ah, here. 2001. We should have remembered this one. 2001 is when...."

I opened my eyes, groaning.
"Did you not get enough sleep last night?" Ben chuckled as I sat up.
"I'm good. I'm good. Honest"
"Hungry? I hope you like pizza" Jackson said, sitting next to me on the sofa and putting the box on the table in front.
"I'll eat most things" I grinned as he opened the box to reveal a pepperoni pizza.
"I've washed my hands." He said, picking up a slice and giving it to me, chuckling lightly. Ben sat next to Jackson and pulled a slice out of the box too.
"Thank you, Kind sir." I laughed lightly, taking the slice and biting into it. I was pretty hungry.
After eating the entire pizza between us in less than half an hour, Ben looked at me.
"How long do you need to stay, Vick?"
"Need?" I asked
"I mean, we won’t be here forever. I'm sure we can work things out, but after we graduate, you won't have a place to stay." He said, looking a little concerned, maybe.
"I'll figure something out, don’t worry." I smiled reassuringly.
"You can stay with us as long as you want. You're no trouble at all. You just sleep a lot" Jackson chuckled, poking my side.
"We're going to need to get her some clothes, Jay." Ben said, looking at my outfit. I was still wearing Jacksons 'sweats' and shirt. Which I entirely did not mind.

"Ben G. will have money for her clothes. We'll just have to promise he'll get something out of it" Ben said.
"No way. From how that sounds, you won’t be promising this Benjy guy anything." I said, holding my hands up. Ben and Jay were.... shocked for a few seconds, I dont know, but then they laughed.
"Not like that. and its Ben.... G. Not Benjy." Ben explained.
"Anyway, I don't want you wasting money on me. You letting me stay here is kind enough."
"Wait, didn’t Kelly leave some of her clothes here last time she visited, when she was driving through town to go to that art exhibition." Ben said, looking at Jackson, completely ignoring my statement.
Jackson headed for his bedroom, and Ben followed, looking back at me for a few seconds. I took that as a "You should follow" so I got up and did so. Walking into Jackson's room, I couldn’t help but continue my internal swooning. Guitar on its stand in the corner, big bed in the middle, window seat, closet and drawer. And it smelt nice.
"What size clothes are you?" Ben asked, looking at a label of a shirt Jackson had thrown at him.

"You can't ask her that, Ben." Jackson said, looking at him and walking over to me with a pair of jeans.
"Sorry." Ben mumbled, picking up another shirt. "These are fourteens, just saying."
"Aren't American and British sizes a little different?" I asked, taking the jeans from Jackson and smiling.
"Just try and see, Babe." Ben grinned at me. I raised my eyebrow. Jackson looked at him the same way and we laughed lightly.
I took, overall, two pairs of jeans, a pair of leggings and four shirts with me into the bathroom to try on. They all fit me, thank goodness. I came out in the leggings and the long blue shirt. I pulled my black woolly boots on, the one's I'd come here wearing, and looked around to Jackson and Ben, who we're looking at me.
"So, Four pm. What should we go do?" I smiled. There was a slight pause until Jackson said something.
"Let's go see Ben G. Show him our new room mate, and have a bit of a music session, I wrote a few more songs last weekend." He chuckled a little, grinning. His face looked childishly cuter than the twenty six year old Jackson I was used to staring at on my wall, but he was still there.

"So, this is Vick" Ben G. smiled at me. We were at his apartment, and his friend Sam was passed out in his bedroom.
"So, this is Graupner," I laughed lightly. "Nice to meet you."
I watched as Jackson sat down on the sofa with his guitar, before he strummed a few chords. Ben J pulled out a keyboard and, as Ben G walked over to sit at his drums, I sat at the end of the sofa, watching Jackson. Swoon inside moment.
"Rehearse the first song, and then I'll show you what I wrote last weekend." Jackson said to the two Ben's, before looking at me and smiling. "You okay with this, yeah?"
"Of course. I'm watching a soon to be famous band! " I said. Whoops. Luckily, Jackson took it as a compliment and chuckled, started to play his guitar. Ohgod. The keyboard and drums kicked in, and I tried my hardest not to giggle in fan girl proportions.
"The problem with you, the problem with this world, the problem with you, the problem with this world, the problem with you the problem with this world, It's an ugly one, and you’re an ugly girl" They sang. I mimed. Then I stopped myself. I'd never heard this song before. Or atleast I shouldn’t have. The worst thing? I had some of their songs on my phone! I'd have to delete before they found them, or god knows what would happen.

Jackson, Ben J and Ben G were playing Keep Awake now. Well, they were learning it. Bad thing was I couldn’t help but sing along after the first few ones, because the lyrics are the same over and over, and I knew the song anyway.
"'Cos I’m in the kitchen with a knife that’s itching for your red blood on those white sheets"
"Someone has disturbing dreams at night." Ben J and Ben G were commenting, laughing about it. Jackson laughed too.
"I would have written a new song today, but I slept well last night, so no freaky dreams for inspiration."
"Writing songs isn’t that hard though, right?" I asked Jackson. He smiled at me.
"It can be. But if you just write down your feelings, then you'll find it comes out easily."
"Oh, calm down, they're having a moment." Ben G said, laughing.
"Shut up, Ben" the other Ben said, chuckling.
"Go see if Sam's still alive" Jackson chuckled. Ben G thought that was a good idea, so did so.

Around eleven pm, I started to get sleepy, but Jackson, Ben and Ben, and now Sam, were all practising song. I curled up on the couch and closed my eyes, listening to the strumming of guitar strings.
"Back again, are we?" Becca said, smiling at me.
"Getting used to this a little. I've sorta figured that when I fall asleep in 2001, I appear back here, but when I wake up in 2001, I disappear from here."
"You said it was July the eleventh?" She asked.
"Yeah. Almost July twelve now."
"Okay, so, You're an idiot for not remembering 2001 was when September the eleventh happened. You better not go anywhere near that, or tell anyone. Who knows what you do if you change things in the past."
"Oh god. I have to keep quiet about one of the worst things to ever happen? I could stop it and be a hero!"
"What would you say? Oh, Hi, I’m from the future, I know, it’s confusing me too, but you have to believe me when I say a plane's going to hit those twin towers in New York." She laughed.
I shook my head, laughing lightly. Then I frowned.
"That’s weird."
"What?" Rebecca said, a little worry crossing her face.
"I can feel arms around-"

I've been writing constantly for the past few hours. It's my dream! Jackson Rathbone. ♥ I'm posting it here for fun. Read if you want. It's not finished. Here's the first part.
I have twice as much as this down, but yeah, enjoy!

------------------------------

And that's when I saw him. Jackson Rathbone. But, he was younger. How could that be? I rubbed my head, after I must have hit it on the pavement or something. The last thing I remembered was a tree, and then I don't know. But here I was, laying on the ground and gawking at a guy across the street like an idiot. This wasnt any ordinary guy though. This was Monroe Jackson Rathbone, an actor I have been crushing on for the passed three years.
"Are you okay?" I heard someone on the other side of me say. I looked up to see a guy with one of those hats that gangsters in pinstripped suits should be wearing or something.
"I don't even know." I said, sitting up, still rubbing my head.
"British, nice. Im Ben" He grinned, offering me his hand. Then I really looked at him, after he helped me stand up. I stared at him. I knew him from somewhere. Ben. Ben. OhGod. He's in Jacksons Band. There were two Bens in 100 monkeys, though, right?
"and you are...?"
"Vicky. Where am I? I don't even..."
"Michigan. Hey, are you okay? Do you need to sit down or something?"
"No, no...I'm fine....Really" I said, shaking my head a lot, not exactly helping. Ben held on to my elbow and slowly made me walk across the road. OhGawdOhGawdOhGawd. I think I started to sick at that point.

After explaining how he'd found me, while I stood gawking in complete silence, Ben smiled at me, while Jackson held his hand out. I slowly took it.
"I'm Jackson, Ma'am." He smiled, shaking my hand and then letting go. I smiled, trying to not giggle nervously. HeIsSoDangSexyInPerson. "Ben, I think we go inside and get her some water. She don't look a hundred percent." I smiled, most likely looking like an idiot.
The both helped me into the building and sat me down on a table. Ben went to get me some water, leaving me alone with Jackson. I was busy trying not to faint as he sat across from me, his eyes not leaving me. He was most likely making sure I didnt faint too.
"I've never seen a library quite like this one before" I said, trying to say something that made at least some sense.
"Welcome to Interlochen Arts Academy, Michigan, Vick." He smiled. I looked to the side of the table to see a newspaper. I looked at the date and my jaw almost hit the floor. July 10th 2001.
"That can't be possible." I said, grabbing the paper and staring at the date as if it would magically change. "No way. Im dreaming. Im not even here" I laughed like I was mental. Ben put down the glass of water next to me and sat down.
"What's the matter?" Jackson asked.

"This doesnt make sense. Somebody pinch me to make sure I'm awake..." Ben promptly pinched my arm, and I pulled my arm away from him, rubbing it. "Oww. That hurt." I frowned.
Jackson chuckled, and I couldnt help but laugh lightly.
"You did ask for it."
"What's the matter with you? Have you got heat stroke or something? Drink" Ben pushed the water over to me, and I picked it up, sipping it, noticing that Jackson was still looking at me. I put the drink down.
"Nothing's wrong with me. I'm just pretty certian it isn't 2001. Let alone July!" I shook my head.
"Oh yeah, Last year of high school, and then we're getting out of here." Ben said, bumping fists with Jackson.
"Yup, Im going to be off to the Royal Scottish Academy after graduation." Jackson grinned. His hair was all short. It was cute, but it was strange seeing him this young. I had, by this point, concluded that I must be having one of those lucid.. or vivid dreams.
"What im saying is, the last time I looked at my phone, it said 2010. December."
"Maybe you set the time wrong." Ben chuckled.
"Im pretty sure I didn't, doofus." I said, rolling my eyes. Jackson chuckled while Ben stared at me.

"How hard did you hit your head?" Ben asked, tapping my skull. I frowned at him. The only thought running through my head at that point though was 'Lol, Jake says that in New Moon' and then I looked at Jackson and smiled foolishly.
"Okay, So if all of this is real, then, I probally should stay calm until it sorts itself out, right?"
"Dude, This girl needs to go to a mental institude." Ben said, point at me and looking at Jackson.
"It's rude to point, Mr Johnson." I said, looking at him and raising my eyebrow.
"Okay then" He said, sliding away from me a little. "How do you know my name is Ben Johnson?" Whoops.
"You told me." I lied.
"Sure I did...." He said. Jackson was too busy laughing quietly.
"Do you remember what happened yet, Vick?" He asked, chuckling lightly and smiling at me.
Time to lie to save my bacon from lockdown in a padded cell.
"Yeah, A little. My dad kicked me out and I just.. walked. I don't remember how I got to America though, let alone Michigan." I shrugged, hoping I was being believable.
"Oh, Thats rough. Sorry." He said, smiling appologetically.
"Happens, I guess." I shrugged.

After deciding I must be tired, Jackson and Ben, who apparently shared a room at the Michigan boarding school of arts, very kindly, and unexpectedly, offered to let me sleep there. I didnt know where else I would go, seeing that If I went home, who knows what trouble would happen. I might be walking home to an eight year old me. And my mum would wonder who the heck I was. So, that option was a big fat no. Jackson gave me a pair of his "Sweats" as he called them, and an old shirt of his, to change into. I was internally swooning, but keeping my cool, as I went to get changed in the bathroom. I could hear Ben and Jackson discussing whether it would be alright for me to sleep on the "couch" or not. Halfway through their mini argument, I walked back in, putting my clothes in a neat pile at the bottom of the sofa and sat on it.
"Here will be fine, Guys." I smiled, curling my legs under me, leaning against the arm. "Thanks for letting me stay here, I don't know where I would have gone otherwise."
"Its fine" They both smiled and I laughed lightly. Ben threw a blanket at me and I pulled it over me with a thank you. I looked at the clock. Nine in the evening. Jackson went to sit at his desk, to read a book, maybe studying for an exam or something, and Ben went to lay down on his bed, writing and scribbling things into a book. I pulled my jeans up to me and looked through the pockets to see if I still had anything. I looked up to make sure nobody was watching, and pulled out a twenty pound note, which would be useless, some headphones, cherry chapstick and my phone. My phone could pose problems. It had no signal, it wasn't even invented yet. Did they even have touch screen in 2001? I dont think so.

I slide the phone, turned off, back into my jeans pocket and put them back on the floor. My paranoia told me I'd have to keep it hidden, or prepare for questions. I laid out on the sofa, getting comfy and looked over at Jackson, reading at his desk. As a seventeen year old, studying to graduate, he looked completely different from the whole Twilight actor, singer person that I'd seen on the television and on the internet. I smiled and closed my eyes, falling asleep, maybe to wake up from this weird moment.
"Vicky, What the hell?" I heard a voice.
"What, Becca? What did I do now?" I replied, without thinking.
"You just disappeared. And now youre back. And it's weird." My best friend was sat on her bed, and I was sat on the matress next to it.
"What? Youre going to have to explain, Im confused. I had this dream about meeting Jackson Rathbone and..."
"It wasnt a dream, Vicky. You disappeared, and found this in my emails" She said, turning elphy around (She named her laptop, dont diss, she's cool)
"I wrote this when!?" Seeing the date first.
"Exactly what I thought. You timed the email from your ninth birthday"

"Vicky?" I heard Becca say faintly.
I blinked a few times, waking up. I sat up and looked around. I was back in Jacksons apartment. I rubbed my head. God was I confused.
"Morning sleepy head. Thought you'd never wake up" Ben said holding a bottle of water out to me. I took it and smiled sleepily.
"Thanks."
"Will you be okay here on your own while Ben and I go to our lessons?" Jackson said, pulling on his coat. I nodded, smiling.
"You can help yourself to whatever. Just don't leave unless you know where youre headin' 'kay?" He said. I raised and eyebrow for a second and then nodded again.
"S'later, Vick." Ben said, smiling and waving, walking out the front door. Jackson smiled over at me and waved once before leaving. As soon as they left, I got up, leaving my water on the sofa, and went over to Jackson's desk. Time to do a little research so I can see where I am. School notes on books and plays, scripts and things. I looked through the right hand draw until I found a little black leather bound book. I rolled my eyes at how cliche it was, taking it out and sitting on the desk chair. I flicked through it. I ended up laughing, a little freaked out. Song lyrics. Not many I reckognised, because I don't know that many of his songs, but I saw "Keep Awake" and laughed. The world had yet to discover Mr Rathbone.

Look who's back in buisness. Oh yeah, baby, Its not woolworths. Did ya miss me? Feck off, You know you did. So, Merry Christmas! Lets catch up!

Six weeks. Hmm....
I followed an Edward Cullen look-a-like in town and took a picture.... LOL! Im such a stalker.



Granted it's probally just the back of him that looks like Edwardo. Oh well. Girls dream. (Of sparkly vampires. We're oh so realistic.)

Halloween! I had my first ever pumpkin! I carved it all on my own with absolutely no idea what I was doing, but apparently it turned out pretty well. I've been waiting to upload these pictures for ages!





Taking the stuff out of the middle of the pumpkin was slimy and it was groooooossss. Felt like pulling somebodies guts out. Is a pumpkin a fruit or a vegetable? I think it might be a vegetable. I wouldnt eat it though, it smells funky.

December, and I bought the Eclipse DVD. The commentary (There's two, but Im talking about the one people -will- listen too, the one with Kristen and Robert) is so funny! Its basically talking about sexual moments and cheeseburgers. And Kristens really gay wig. I also watched the whole of The Vampire Diaries series one. Dun dun dun. I dont know why I said dun dun dun.

Christmas is in eight days! EP! My advent calendar has no numbers on it! What's up with that!? Well, It's an Eclipse one, but Kelly bought it for me, soooo, its non-sensical non-numbers is plausable, I guess. (does that even work? I havent got a thesauras, and cant be bothered to google it...)

Snow! Oh my days. I hate it! It's cold and wet. Urgh. Look at it. Just... URGH! And this is after the snow turned to pure ice! It was mental. Slipping and sliding all over the shop.


Meeting Jodie in town tomorrow, and then going to see if I can get some Xmas presents. I can't wait for chrriiisstttmmaaaasss. I have Skype back too, so I can keep a promise I made way back when. 5pm, christmas eve. Imma be there. MERRY CHRISTMAS!

Monday and Tuesday were terrible. Absolutely terrible. And Wednesday came and all was okay again. But, Monday and Tuesday, I seem to grab at anything and everything to get away from it all. And now, I’m not heartless, and I have regrets, but I cannot take them back. You know, digging yourself a hole, you start, you get too deep, and you can’t climb out. And nobody will throw you a rope ladder. For that, I am truly sorry.

But, I did kind of break the toilet yesterday with my fat arse. For my Dad to then SELLOTAPE IT BACK!? Oh my actually days. Ladies and Gentleman, Knock-off Nigel. He also had a joke-y kind of go at me. It was pretty funny.

I don’t really have much to blog about, but I am actually blogging! I know I’ve been slacking off. Sorry. I went to an Alice in wonderland Panto on Wednesday night, which was cool. And today I got my psychology revision for eating disorders started. Bah! I haven’t even revised the last unit, the one on relationships, but I kinda have an end of topic exam question to do in class next week on eating disorders, so I have to. I could so easily fall asleep right now, but I’m planning on doing a little more revision and I might even eat a Kiwi. It’s bloody cold outside, thought I’d just tell you.

Well, Todoloo! Haha. Is that even a word?

Story of my life
Searching for the right
But it keeps avoiding me
Sorrow in my soul
Cause it seems that wrong
Really loves my company

I don’t know what to write. I just feel empty. Alone. I slowly feel myself falling to pieces, and I can see it happening. What’s the point? I’m just walking in a straight line, passing the same things all the time. The same thing, over and frigging over again. I’m fed up, in all senses. I miss people more than I should, and the only thing I want, I can’t have. A hug. That’s all I want. A simple cuddle, hug, squidge, whatever you want to call it.

I watched the first two episodes of Vampire Diaries last night. Team Stefan, actually, because Damon seems a bit of a knob. “Thinking of you” – Katy Perry played in one scene and I turned the television off and went to bed. I just feel hopeless now. Like, there is someone out there looking for me, but they stopped for a chat with some other girl and forgot about me. What can I do? I’m just stuck in Wroughton, living with my over-worked Dad, my stressed depressed mother and my cousin who doesn’t get recognised for the deserving person he is.

Right now I feel like crawling upstairs to my room, lying on my mattress and just staying curled up for hours upon hours doing nothing but listening to the sound of my own breathing. There’s just no point in doing anything else. I think I’ve done what I’ve needed to do, whatever that was.

At least I blogged though, right?

Reach out and touch, whisper my name. I will deliver, again and again. Straight from the heart, honest and true, I promise you this, I will be there for you.

They say the world must end somehow,
They say the end's not far from now;
I think they're wrong,
Don't worry your life away,
Start living for today,
Don't think about tomorrow.

And if the lights go out on all of us,
In just a year or two.
And if the sky falls down like pouring rain,
Then I'll be here with you.
I'll go down with you.

Well I'm gonna try for all I'm worth,
To stay with you till the end of the earth.
Don't let me down,
Don't let your feelings win.
Don't give out, and don't give in,
Don't think about tomorrow.

Cause if the lights go out on all of us,
In just a year or two.
And if the sky falls down like pouring rain,
Then I'll be here with you.
I'll go down with you.

And if the lights go out on all of us,
In just a year or two.
And if the sky falls down like pouring rain,
Then I'll be here with you.
I'll go down with you.

Im near enough being forced at pillow point (Minus any pillows being involved) to write this blog because I havent done one since the seventh, as you can clearly see. Well, I really am sorry. I just havent had much to blog about. I used to blog about such trivial things though, such small things. Like, what I ate, where I was going. It's kind of bored me slightly now... maybe. I dont know. Just, I havent been inspired by much. I usually get inspired by pictures or music or something like that, but you know I cant have pictures right now, I have a few pictures on my phone I need to upload, stupid laptop. Major parts do not take over two weeks to get to the repair centre! Dammit!

Tonight, Becca and I are meeting D and A at Pizza Hut, where I will most likely have a chicken salad. NOM. And COOKIE DOUGH. NOM NOM. and then we're going to the cinema to watch a film not yet decided, with popcorn! NOM NOM NOMITY. And Coke. NOM NOM NOMITY NOM. Feeling slightly ill thinking about what were going to consume. Bahaha.

Do you know how much Im in love with my friends? Being Becca, and people I know online.....

On that point, Im going to raid Becca's laptop for photo's !!!! Hehehehehehehehehhehe Ahem.
*Evil laughter*



AWWWWRRRR CUTEST THING EVAR !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! *Goes all mushy*

Have to go google how many hours in a week there are, because Becca is doing a survey on how much time and what people do for lesuire time. and the person were doing at the moment is my mother. Hours in a week = Amount of lesuire time she has.

I took a chance on loving you

November!

..... Don’t give me that look, I know I haven’t blogged in a while. Its not like I did it on purpose all “Ha-ha, I’m not blogging, you have to read something interesting now!” I just haven’t because I haven’t. There really isn’t much of a valid reason for it. Maybe because I haven’t got pictures to put on. I like to have a picture at the top of each post, but as you can clearly see for the past few posts I haven’t had any. I don’t like it. It makes the posts boring. That’s why I also add youtube videos every now and then with a song I like, just for something to break up all the writing (Or babble in my case)

I tried to upload some pictures but the old desktop computer was having none of it. I was going to show you my pumpkin. It was the first pumpkin I have ever touched, let alone turned into a jack-o-lantern. Is that an Americanism? Anyways, I did a neat little cat. It was awesome! Oh, Oh… Mother has just invaded. She’s on’t phone to Mark trying to find some piece of paper. –Shrugs- Me no know.

D’ya want an update!? No? S’yeah you do!

For Halloween, I was cooler than a cool person in a cool town in coolsville. Urr… what? I went down Box mine with my cousin, his cousin and his friend Craig. Box mine is the second biggest mine in Europe. We went at midnight and we were there for about four or so hours. We got back home at half five in the morning and then went to bed. But, oh my days. It was so dark and creepy. And WOW did I ache after!? It was muddy and we had to do a lot of climbing. The funny part is I was the only one to fall anywhere, which yes, is very typical of me, but it wasn’t even in the bloody mines! It was in the woods on the way TO THE MINE !!! Deary deary me.

Half term I did no work whatsoever, and therefore I still owe a lot of work. Whoopsys. I spent most of my half term asleep or on Twitter. Bad times. I know I have no life though, so its all good. Well anyway, I have so many unfinished things. Like, Three essays for ICT and an English coursework draft that I haven’t even started thinking about let alone doing it yet.

Urr, Got a discount at Subway last week from Becca and I’s favey guy, Ali. And he gave me a one arm hug. S’yeah, youre jealous, admit it. We managed to miss every single English lesson last week too, Becca and I. Trust me, it wasn’t completely intentional. (Well, the last one wasn’t, we went to subway and missed the bus)
Tomorrow I’m going in early so I can sit in the silent study room and get on with those ICT essays. I could do them now, but I’m a silly bitch and I cant be bothered. I’m just sat listening to some of my old favey music (Lemar – ‘’Its not that easy’’ and ‘’Lullaby’’ FTW) and writing more of that old “The Ark” story. Yeah, You know how cool I am. Ill post it when I finished the next chapter.

LOL. Just remembered. I text my Mum “Urr…. This place, around the corner” and she text back all “Don’t be cocky” and when I got back she was all “That first text already got my back up and then you send me that” and she made a “Duurrr” noise, thinking that’s what “Urr” is, but I explained “Nooo shitattack..” Sorry, Shappi joke just wandered in there. “No, Mum, Urr is like Urm… Youre thinking.”
And WTH!? “Got my back up” Sorry, are you a cat now? Seriously? I hate that phrase. But, then again, I hate most things my mother comes out with. “Oh, why don’t you give your guitar to AJ” “No, Mum” “Do it” “FINE. FFS” –Week later- I need a guitar for my course at school. –Facepalm-

And this is why Becca and I both think my mother is a strange person. I was at Becca’s earlier and showed her the text and we were both there like “O.o Wtf?” Bahaha. Remembering that, I want apple crumble now. I had it for pudding last night when I was at Becca’s. I was there from Friday. It was fun, I knicked her IPod and she fell asleep on the laptop so I knicked that and stayed up until 2am on it before going to bed. Then we woke up Saturday at 11am? And we were basically tired all day and went to bed at midnight last night. Woke up to having no quilt ‘cos Becca stole it, got my own one, fell asleep and then woke up to Oliver and Becca playing boppit, I believe. Lol. Well, now youre all updated, have a nice day, Ill see you next time!

G’day!


#RandomFact Lemar is epic, so shu’up.

Cant. Get. This. Song. Out. Of. My. Brain!

Im sat on Twitter right now, wiggling ma butt to the imaginary music in my head. Yeah, well, You already knew I was strange. Becca told me I had to blog because im not "On that shit like a fly" anymore. She didnt say that, by the by. Bahaha.

Well, The laptop's touchpad fecked up. Oh yay! -Facepalm- Ever since my mother let my brother reboot the laptop to its factory settings. Not exactly the first time he's buggered up a computer. Oh well, Im not in a ranty mood. Im too happy. I mean, yeah, I was kinda depressed on Sunday and Monday, and a little on Tuesday morning, but Im fine now. I did what I normally do, laugh it off. I mean, its not like I could've done anything else. Problems take time to fix, so we've just got to wait it out. -Breaks out into Imogen Heap "Wait it out"-

OMG. I LOVE THAT SONG... -Goes to find the link on youtube-



You do not understand the love I have for this song since I heard it on Claire's dance competition video a while back. and yes, its from Vampire Diaries, but I dont watch it so dont critisise me for only liking vampire related songs from soundtracks and everything. Bahaha

Where do we go from here?
How do we carry on?
I can't get beyond these questions
Clambering for the scraps in the shatter of us collapsed that cuts me with every could-have-been

Pain on pain on play repeating
with the backup, makeshift life in waiting.
Everybody says time heals everything but
what of the wretched hollow? The endless in
between are we just going to wait it out?

There's nothing to see here now, turning
the sign around We're closed to the earth
'til further notice. A stumbling cliched case,
crumpled and puffy faced Dead in the stare of
a thousand miles

All I want, only one, street level miracle
I'll be an out and out, born again, from none
more cynical

And sit here cold, we will be long
gone by then In lackluster, in dust
we layer on old magazines, fluorescent
lighting sets the scene in the one life
that we've got And sit here Just going to
wait it out And sit here cold Just going to
sweat it out Wait it out .

Right. Sooooo. Need to go get in ma Jim Jams and snuggle up in the swivel chair with a cup o' tea. Night, my lovelys!! I love you all so muchly much!! ♥

#RandomFact -Shifty eyes and does a superman pose- Bahaha

I realise it has been over a week since I have last wrote here, but it’s just that I didn’t haven’t had anything interesting to blog about. Well, Now I do! Half term has started now and I actually have a few things to pop into this blog. Yesterday I slept over Rebecca’s house. Wasn’t that interesting!? I spent several hours happily singing along to music while tidying Becca’s room. Yes, I tidied her room. You can see the floor now, and her books are in alphabetical order. Whilst I was doing this, my leggings got covered in dust and Becca managed to finish writing the tenth chapter of her A-MAZE-ING book. Dinner was Chicken Curry, and I would love to become an astronaught. We said goodnight at 11pm? And we ended up talking for another two hours. Well, until I saw the Ghost and shat myself! Oh my days. I looked across the room of Becca’s bedroom and there was this boy, like aged 10-15, staring at me. But it was like when you’re staring at somebody at a disco with strobe lights, but it was one flash and then he was gone.

At first I thought it was just my mind playing tricks on me, but then I told Becca and described this boy for her to be all “Oh my gawd, I told you I had a ghost! I’ve seen that exact same boy!” Because Becca lives in an old mill house, this ghost must have been a worker there years and years ago. He had one of those old caps on like the ones granddads wear now, and he had a white blouse on with brown suspenders and shorts, and his eyes! Oh, the eyes! They were all gaunt and he was staring right at me. Our theory is I upset him by tidying the room. Becca and I were so scared then that I slept in her double bed, right next to her and neither of us moved until we fell asleep. So creepy!

When we woke up in the morning at 11am, we had orange juice, a cup of tea (That I left by accident when I went home) and a bacon sandwich. My mother’s facebook status, 38 mins ago at that point, was “Tori phone home xx” and I laughed, doing an E.T impression before phoning her and getting my dad to pick me up. When I got home I sat for four or so hours with my 30 year old sister, helping her write a 1,000 word essay on how to set up a business. I’m sat here writing and waiting for the day to fast forward until bed time, but unfortunately, I have to baby-sit tonight until midnight, so hello Insomnia. Well, Better go catch a few relaxing Z’s until I have to go and baby-sit. –Sigh-

#RandomFact Only a Ginger can call another ginger ginger. And only a ninja can sneak up on another ninja. Bahaha ♥

Follow yesterday’s post, after midday was pretty strange to say the least. It started out pretty normal; I was minding my own business, sat in my bedroom on the laptop, Skype’ing with Seann, when Becca and Ashleigh appeared out of thin air. They were at my house for what must have been an hour, and within that time, Becca alone consumed a tin of spaghetti hoops, two slices of toast, several biscuits and two bars of chocolate, as well as a glass of Pepsi to wash it down. After she was satisfied with the non-emptiness of her stomach, she wanders on off with A to get a bus home. Don’t I have the best friends? Strange…. But best nonetheless. Oh, and you know a friend is a keeper when the first thing they say when looking around your room is "Oh, yes Jackson!" and then you have a mini-fight over who gets the Rathbone. He's mine, just saying.

Later that night, after constant stressing out with the internet not connecting properly on any of the home computers, I went swimming with my cousin and his cousin for an hour at my school’s leisure centre. Worst thing about that was the fact I knew both lifeguards, D and R, and they are both popular-ish boys in my year. And on the way out K was going in for Badminton and completely ignored me in my jogging bottoms, trainers and “Azamara Cruises” shirt. How nice. But other than that it was okay. Had an hours drive, just tweeting from my phone mobile-y like and then came home to help J, M’s cousin, with his year 7 math’s homework. Oh, and I helped J finish his kebab, so overall, good times.

Today; Two hours of psychology. One hour going over a sheet, half an hour revising for the other half an hours open book essay question. I don’t think I did too badly, but then again, that probably means I failed epic-like. I came home to a ‘Mothers-definition-of-a-half-full-house’ …. Which is basically Dominic, Natasha and Kelly. Natasha was asleep. I made myself some soup after devouring my tuna and sweet corn sandwich. I shared some of the soup with Dominic, and he was pretty happy. He wasn’t happy, however, when he had to go to playschool. I offered to stay with him, arrangements were made simply over the phone and I went with him. I spent three hours at my old playschool, and I was more excited than Dominic. It was smaller than I remembered, but so cute!

I sat with Dominic while he was eating his lunch, and opened a boy named Oakley’s maltesers packet. Not too soon after that, O decided my legs look like a good place to rest his bare feet on while eating his cream cheese sandwich. Lol! Oh, and by this point I was having very strange texts from Becca that I completely did not understand whatsoever. Then the kids went around the room to play, and I sat at a table with these “Poppie” toy things. Dominic played with them for a while before skipping off merrily to paint a pretty picture, and then two or three other kids came over and started talking at me. I made one boy a Giraffe and a little girl an Elephant.

The cutest thing ever was at break time, just before home time, when this little girl called Eloise was all cuddly and giggly with me. I relate everything back to twilight, so basically, she was like a miniature Alice at 4 years old. She was really little and cute and smile-y and she kept tip-toeing to be as tall as all the other kids. I sat down and made… yes, I made…. Dominic go around on the scooters a few times. He was having fun, bless him. There I was, sat on my lonesome one second, five kids around me the next second. Mini Alice was sat next to me, hand on my leg protectively and looking at me, trying to make me laugh by giggling at herself. Connor bounded over and sat next to me. He was a crazy child, but not as crazy as Oakley, and he put his head in my lap. Then this other girl tried to get my attention and was all “Do you like my dress?” because I said I liked Eloise’s shoes. This other boy, I think his name was Kellan or Callum…., well he randomly ran over and pretended to throw a bomb at me several times. LOL! And then Blip, Binp? I have no idea what his name was, but he was the cutest ever. He was all “Daddy. Pink! Daddy. Daddy. PINK!”

And then I walked Dominic home, and here I am, writing my blog and waiting for my dinner. I helped my load and unload the dishwasher and then I was all “Whats for dinner?” Hungry-teen-style. It was going to be Faggots, as in meat faggots, not gays or anything, and potatoes, but I wasn’t really up for it, so I’ve helped do the dinner. Its cooking in the over now, and its corned beef pancake things that are basically fishcakes with corned beef and onion, with roast potatoes and mixed vegetables. Hungry or peckish yet? Peas, carrots and cauliflower. I cannot actually wait!

T.G.I.F right? And and and, I am thoroughly convinced I have no homework to do, so FREE WEEKEND! I will tidy my room though, because I need to, and I have Becca sleeping over on Saturday…… I mean Wednesday. Time to Tweet until I break the internet again. Have a nice Friday readers.

Its not yet midday, but today has actually been pretty good so far. Ive registered my Subcard online, sort-of, and im 200 points away from a free sammich. I finished some work in IT Btec before going to a non-compulsary psychology lesson to write some notes. I thought maybe J would come to the lesson to sit next to A, but A said I could sit next to her, so I did. And we actually spoke a little bit. Maybe she doesnt hate me as much as Ive come to believe. As soon as Psychology finished, I went up to Mrs. Midson's office to get back my signed EMA form. I then went off to the library to print off some of the psychology notes that I hadnt quite done. I ended up staying for half of break helping a year seven boy print off his homework. He didnt know how to use a USB, and he didnt know how to print. So, I showed him. Plus, I saved the librarian on ink, because I suggested her shouldnt have the whole A4 sheet red behind the black text. And then I wandered home, listening to Caitlin Crosby's music.

Im wearing my Jill Valentine outfit today. Its my blue shirt and my black leggings, with black boots and my hoody tied around my waist. Not EXACTLY like Jill, but its cool. Oh, and she's from Resident Evil 2. You should know how obsessed with Resident evil I am. And, the blue shirt is the one my sister gave me when I slept over hers that night in July, the one where I discovered my love for the Pims and Lemonade.

Tomorrow, I have double Psychology, and one hour of it will be an end of unit test. Which, Im convinced I can take my notes with me to help finish it, as long as its within the time limit. Atleast I got a C in my essay. It was a D, but I pointed out that Miss Davies hadnt checked the little paragraph on the back, and she checked it. I got an extra mark, but from 5 out of 9, to 6 out of 9, made it go from a D to C. And I was weeeeellllll chuffed.

Well, Better be off, My mother is talking to her friend Kath about leaving the tea bag in the cup by accident. Damn you mother, I like my tea milky!!

..... Oh, and HAPPY 15TH BIRTHDAY CLAIRE

EEPP !! <3

Today, I was supposed to revise for a psychology end of unit test on friday. I did not do this. Instead, Rebecca and I sat in the library laughing at everything and anything. Then we sat in Subway for an hour, where I read almost 52 pages of Rebecca's story. Its bloody AMAZING. I would tell you what it's about, but you might steal the idea or really want to read it and not be able to. Dont worry, when she's finished, I will make sure she gets it published ;)

After messing about and not doing any school work whatsoever, we went to the cinema to watch "The Death and Life of Charlie St Cloud." It was almost a private showing. We were the only ones in the room watching it until three other people intruded. How rude of them. Well, it was 3:50 on a tuesday. The film was really good, although we were basically telling each other what was going to happen as if between us we had already watched the film. The storyline is kind of predictable. We guessed the womens big secret before SHE KNEW IT HERSELF!! We are just that cool.

Zac Efron was alright in it, but he seemed to be doing a Taylour Lautner. He took off his shirt whenever he could. And he had a bit of an anger problem. One second he was cool as a clam in clamsville, and then the next he was bashing some persons head in. We still have no idea what the geese in the graveyark meant. Ill google it right now! ....... There's nothing on google. I think we all need to panic. GOOGLE KNOWS EVERYTHING!!


On the way home, I had to get two buses on my own in the almost dark! Nah, Im alive now, but at the time I was pooping it. On the second bus, this drunk homeless couple with a dog got on the bus and sat at the back and they started shouting at each other and swearing and it was craazzzzyyy. I was sat there all scared and stuff and I thought I was going to DIE!!! Nah, I was just hoping Id get home soon. But yeah, the dog was all "Grrr" and the drunk guy was all "You went FLOP, BITCH!" and she was all "I did not go -Sound effect- flop"
And then the bloke was all "If you break these headphones, you is not gunna know what happened to you. Dont even mess with this, yeah?" and I was trying not to laugh. If I laughed, I would have been killed! O.o

Well, anyway, Time for a cup o' tea and then to snuggle up into bed for tomorrow morn to come. G'day, Dearest reader.

oxoxoxox

That last blog is a formspring question. I didnt know linking it to this blog would do that. My Oh my, I would never have such a long title, you know that! Well, Off to school I go, without my school Id card, because I lost it. Yay!

<33

Oh my. Why did you do this to me!? I dont think I could live without either. Youre so mean! I think Id have to never go online again, because what is more important is that I go to school, get an edumacation (Lol) and get a job so I can pay my way through life. Being on the internet wont give me that, unless I find some website that will do that, but Id still need friends. So, Id stop going online if I had to, but I dont, so Ill continue to balance the two. Mwahahaha. <33333

Show me the love <3

When everybody else was sat with their takeaways and cups o' tea watching XFactor, I was snuggled up in bed dosed up on every single cold and flu remidy in the whole entire ... house. Which wasnt that much to be honest. So, there I was drowning in Vic's Vapour rub, coughing up the benalyns cough syrup, which Im sure isnt supposed to happen, and trying to sleep away the stupid ill-ness-ness of it all, I just couldnt fall asleep. I actually forced myself to sit through the whole of New Moon again. I know!? Even the Jacob bits. He's still a massive knob, and I still laughed when Bella and Edward were all "I dont want you to come.... You dont want me to come?.... No, I dont want you to come." My minds in the gutter, sue me.

So anyway, after New Moon, I tried to go back to sleep, and I still couldnt. So, Plan C was put into action. I played "No sound but the wind" on repeat. and, It worked! This song never fails to make me sweepy. and I just learnt it on Piano, too. Well, Its not that hard, its just four chords over and over and over.. and well, I think you get the idea.



I did have some strange dreams though. The one I can remember is like, there were a bunch of old people and then Rebecca and I in this ... swimming pool room? But the pool was empty and the whole room was slowly filling up with water, so we had to dig our way out of the syrofoam walls? where Becca and I jumped out to let all the old people drown (IRL we love oldies, most of the time) and then Becca got attacked by some weird half otter half tiger thing. And then I woke up. Oh, and In my dream, we drowned Hayley and her BF, and I cried(?) and then realised that I didnt actually care, so I laughed. Yeah, Dreams are weird, especially mine.

School work is okay at the moment, minus the half of the english homework on money attitudes thats due tomorrow. Yeah, well, I kinda only did half. I missed out the attitudes to money now, and the attitudes to money in the family (Which in all honesty is a little bit personal and a touchy subject, especially to be giving it to a teacher I dont know-slash-even-like)

The 1920's attitudes to money is done, well, I think, and Ive also done the short 300-500 worded story with the theme of money. Baring in mind its very suckish, here it is. -Shrugs-

The crisp smell of the freshly cut grass overwhelmed her as she ran across the fields in the blazing afternoon sun. She tried to hush the crying baby in her arms as she ran, but it was no use. A thought ran through her mind. Maybe her baby boy knew how wrong this was, too. She pushed it out as soon as she thought it. She already felt bad about what she was doing. Stinging nettles pricked at her bare calves as she ran into the woods, a backpack with over £100,000 contained in a briefcase slung over her left shoulder. When she felt she had gone deep enough into the woods, she found a tall oak tree with a few fallen logs around it. She climbed up to a low branch of the tree and sat on it, leaning against the cold, rough bark of the oak.
“Shush Roxas,” She cooed to calm the emotional infant down.
“Mummy’s okay now.”

She rocked little Roxas in her arms until he eventually sniffled himself to sleep. She smiled and relaxed a bit, holding him close to her torso so she could lean forward to get the backpack. She slid a bottle of water from a side pocket and drank at it greedily, wrinkling her nose up in disgust when the warm liquid crawled down her dry throat. She put the bottle back into its pocket and leant back against the tree, exhaling heavily. Her eyes drooped and she fought the exhaustion that slowly crept up on her unsuccessfully. Not long after, she fell asleep, clutching Roxas close to her. She awoke a few hours later, a cool breeze whistling through the leaves of the surrounding trees, to Roxas gurgling and giggling to himself.

She smiled down at him and felt more relaxed now, but she knew she could never be completely carefree and relaxed any more. Not after stealing from the van. The soft breeze that swirled constantly around the mother and child now was chilling them both. She had packed a blanket in the backpack just in case, so she leant forward to open the bag. She unzipped the clasp quietly, her hands trembling a little, and pulled at the blanket. It was stuck under the stolen briefcase so she tugged at it, but when the blanket slide out from the backpack, the briefcase came out too. It slid off the tree branch, toppling to the ground, hitting a few smaller branches on the way and opening, notes flying everywhere and being carried away on the gust of wind travelling through the forest.

She gasped and watched as some of the money drifted away out of her reach. A man stepped out of the darker part of the tree line, hands in pockets, just then. She tensed up, watching as he looked up at her and spoke boldly. “Money doesn’t grow on trees, you know.”

I finished this today, after doing Benjamins homework. -Facepalm- He only read one chapter of "Pochahontis" and I had to write down what he thought about it. He was all "Well, It was boring cos the boy dropped the necklace down the bluff" and I was all "Well, It wouldnt have been boring if you read the rest of the story to find out that he jumped down and almost drowned to retrieve the necklace, dammit!"
Then, I had to help him with his place value and Partitionings. Urr, Come again? What do they teach kids these days?

Then, I had to draw a chariot, horses, and a helmet from the Roman period for him. I mean, he actually made me because he "Couldnt draw it himself".... So basically, I did an 8 Year olds homework today. Fun fun fun.

This week I need to revise for an end of unit psychology test, and then finish reading "The Great Gatsby" I want Nick and Jordan to be together so much. They are so CUTE together. And I want Daisy to be with Gatsby, but the teacher RUINED IT AND TOLD US HE DIED! Dammit, Im not good with new teachers. All the teachers I have, Ive had before, so I know and like how they teach. But with this one, she talks down to us like were still in year seven or something. She will ask a question and if nobody answers, she'll look through the register and call somebody out to answer. O.o
And also, if someone answers and she thinks its wrong, she'll repeat it and then say "Or it could be..." saying the right answer, and its like WTH!? She's almost as bad as UglyMcLaurence.

Have I told you the story of UglyMc?? Well, She was a trainee English teacher last year. She had been a journalist for ages and wanted to change careers or something. Well, one day she decided we'd play a game of noughts and crosses where you had to pick a word from the board and explain it in 30 seconds without stopping. All the words I knew had gone, but I was picked and I didnt exactly want to play anyway. I was happy just sitting there and listening. she picks me and I say "No, Im okay thanks" and then we end up having an argument because I was "Defying her".... Yeah, that was her catchphrase. "Dont Defy Me!"

Well, anyway, I ended up getting kept behind at the end, where she was all "Dont Defy me!" and I was all -Records argument with Becca's phone- "Urm... Its noughts.... and crosses?" "Dont Defy Me!" "DDIIIIEEE -Stabs with pencil-"

...
......
...

Okay, so I didnt murder her. Im not usually that ..... defying? Urr... The word im looking for is gone. Im not usually uncooperative? -Shrugs- That will do. But it was just her. Its like, some teachers clash with me so much, I will do anything and everything to annoy them. I remember the last lesson we had with her, I sat with a thesauras insulting her. LMAO! and I took a VERY attractive photo of her and editted it. I wont put it here because I may or may not get in trouble at some point. She like to search blogs. She had a picture of Belle deJour, or whatever that call girls name is, up on the screen, boobs and all, at one point. Oh, and then there was the .... 'Game' ... where we had to look at a piece of paper she was holding and go back to the table to remember what was on it and draw it out. I took a picture of it. I was a reeeebbbbeeeeelll. You should know Im not ARGUMENTATIVE, THATS THE WORD!!!

Okay, Its half nine and my medicine has kicked in. Non-Drowsy my ass!

Night. Love you <33

Here I am, here I stand
Took a picture of my hand
Bet you can tell it's not manicured
Here I am, half a man,
I'm not a doctor, I'm not a ten
And I never helped the score
I drive too fast, the team picked me last
I break the rules and like it
My body curves, I forget the words
I missed the serve and lost it

All my flaws to see
But you still love
Love me

Here I am face down
Sometimes I smile or frown
But it depends on the time of day
Here I go off the road
I spend cash on my clothes when I still have bills to pay
My skin isn't clear
Haven't spoken in a year
'Cause I still have fears I'm tryin' to overcome

My truths aren't right
My jeans are too tight
When I pick a fight I turn to run

All my flaws to see
But you still love, love me
You still love me


Not everybody can be perfect. We should know that by now. We all have our flaws, but we should learn to accept them. I repeat things over and over again, I’m not good at whispering, I do my work at the last possible minute, I spend most of my time on the internet, I laugh at things others don’t find funny, I don’t care about my hair too much, I choose comfort over looks, I have horrible teeth, I’m too tall, I’m not the prettiest, I’m not the smartest. But I know one thing I am. Me.

I repeat things because I have a memory like a goldfish. I can whisper, I just don’t get the clue when to do so. I procrastinate and panic about my work, but most of the time it gets done. I have friends on the internet to keep me company when I’m not talking to my friends in real life, and I love them all to pieces. I laugh at things I find funny, I don’t go along with a crowd. It’s my sense of humour, not theirs. My hair isn’t exactly my best feature, but I’ll find a haircut that suits me one day. As long as you feel comfortable in your clothes, you’ll be fine. Some of my teeth overlap, but that’s part of me, and it isn’t that bad. I’m 5 foot 9 inches, I recently grew half an inch, but it doesn’t matter. It’s not like I tower over that many people. I’m not the prettiest, but I still have my moments. I’m not the smartest, but I’m still learning. I am me, and there’s nobody I would rather be.

I’m only seventeen. Carpe Diem. Seize the day. Do what I want to do when I want to until I can no longer. And you should do the same. No matter who you are, somebody will love you. You deserve that much. Imperfect is the new perfect.

I like being motivational sometimes; a whole new meaning to this blog’s name. Inspirations.

Yesterday must have been the best Monday I have ever had at school. I was just so hyper. I woke up at 7:30 to go in and do my IT presentation that I hadn’t done at the weekend because I was too busy being cool on Twitter as Jasper. Yes, I have three Twitters now, and two are Twilight Role Play ones. I like to escape reality sometimes, can you blame me? I finished my presentation within an hour and had two hours plus break to kill, so I sat with Ashleigh and helped her with some of her psychology work. We had a bit of a laugh and then played cards at break. I taught her how to play Shed.

IT came around and my presentation was awesome. Within the first few minutes of the lesson, I was all “I’m going to be an idiot and say I’ll go first and then regret it as soon as I say it” and then I skipped up to the front. I laughed a lot during the presentation, but that’s because I spelt loads of things wrong. But overall, at least it was done. Went home, had some food, went on Skype until I went to bed at midnight and all was good.

October already? Its been a whole year since I’ve known my Chatroll friends! Christina and Claire are the best out of the group though. I knew Zoey anyway, but the group was mainly Christina, Claire, Lilz, Jess, Beth, Zoey and I. Daym, I miss the original Twilight-Role-Play-101 crew. Back when Chatroll’s had subscribers. When I got 100! –Sigh- Good times. Next stop, February!

After this blog, I will attempt to write my psychology essay and if I somehow finish it, I will move onto the psychology notes. I will have a shower at 6:30 and then get nice and cozy in bed, twittering and whatnot until I go to bed. I will wake up at 7:30am because I get worried that if I have lie-ins on weekdays, I may not be able to wake up at the right time on the Friday when I have psychology. I’m not going to sleep in ever again! Tomorrow is a new day.

Until next time, smile and make the most of the here and now. Much love to you.

Victoria Jayne Telling

I can not tell you how much Im missing be a nine year old right now. I used to sit playing on the xbox for hours on end those days, without a care in the world. Im listening to the soundtrack of a game called "Jet Set Radio Future" right now and OMG, I literally just jizzed in my pants. JSRF is an old Sega game where you'd just skate around on the old roller skates, in a gang called that "GG's" I think... and you'd go around claiming territory using graffiti. And it has the soundtrack of my childhood, which Im listening to right now!



Sega is my childhood, I swear! JSRF, and then when I was a little older, Shenmue 2! Bahaha, I was such a boy when I was younger. I mean, I was always playing computer games. I still play them now, but Im on the internet more now. Shenmue 2 was a bloody good game too. Jeesh, Sega, can I marry you? -Drools-

Okay, enough orgasming over computer games, even though I am still going to be listening to the soundtrack! T.G.I.F! (Thanks God its friday, for those who cant figure it out like I couldnt) The weekend is here for me! I had first two lessons, which were both psychology, and now Im curled up on my bed ready to download a load of songs -Winkity wink-

I do, however, have a lot to do homework wise. To do list? To do list O.o

- IT Btec Presentation on the components on a sytem unit.
- Psychology 9 mark question essay
- Psychology revision (Ill probally not do this until much later that I should)
- English research on money attitudes now, in the 1920's and in the family, followed by a 300-500 worded piece revolving around the key theme of money.
- Read The Great Gatsby
- Finish drawing the Helmer's house for "A Dolls house"

And all I want to do is sleep and relax. Meh.

So, an old man walked up to me earlier, Nodded saying "Nice weather for ducks... Quack" and walks away.

G'day, reader, Im off to download these songs! -Jizz-

Well, This is rather strange. Im on iGoogle and Im blogging, listening to Cut - Plumb on my phone while my mother is asleep upstairs.

Ill post soon! I was just checking this out. Have a nice day or night, Dearest blog reader.

Panic over. All is right again for me. I still have a cold, but after a shout-y argument with my mum last night over the laptop, everything seems a-okay. Well, for now anyway. My argument with my mum was all "Im like this because youre like this" and I think it worked. Ended up with the laptop in my room with a nice Korma and Pilau rice. With Pepsi too! I think I prefer Diet Pepsi to Diet Coke. Oh, how the times change! I used to be addicted to Kinder eggs, and I havent had one for months! Addiction over! Rehab no longer needed.

So, My mum got a text this morning from my Aunty Jackie. Okay, so she's not my Aunt, she's my God-Parent and my mums best friend from when she was at school, which was a very long time ago might I add. My Aunty Jackie is going to be ... secretly staying with us for a few nights. I sincerly hope nobody in my family actually reads this. O.o Well, anyway, Her dad just died. She's distraught and just wants to get away from her family. My mum was like "But Kelly will be over tomorrow with the kids, I wont be able to talk to Jack then will I?" And I was all "Kelly lost her parents, she could probally talk to her and help too." Which went down well because thats when Mum text Jackie back saying that she could stay. She must have been up all night crying, Bless 'er. She text asking at 2 in the monrning. I told my mum to text her saying that "Tori says you can sleep in her room.. after she tidies it"




^^ Thats Jackie, her niece and nephew and I before her like.. third or fourth wedding. She's married to a nice guy called Tony now. He's nice because he was there all through the time she was in hospital after having a stroke. Sad times, they were. She told my mum and I the story of how she almost died. She could feel herself getting pulled away. Scary stuff!

So Im going to be sleeping on the couch for the next few nights. Couch, because Im an american wannabe, obvi. Ive tidied my room up for her already and everything. Todays almost been non-stop. Came home from school, ate dinner, filled in my new Education matenance allowace and then came up to take notes for psychology and write ma bloggity blog. Oh, here's my favey part of the note taking. LOL




Ill keep that in mind. Bahaha. Well, better go have a shower. Have a nice day, or night, where ever you may be my beautiful reader. I love you muchly much, ya know, unless youre some strange stalker, then, stay away from me IRL please. Lmao.

#RandomFact I see a Jim Carey look-a-like every morning I walk to school and he smiles and I smile back and then walk down the road trying not to laugh. Goood times.

#RandomPicture Bahaha, I keep the coolest things on my USB stick, Dont I? Lmao. ♥



#RandomMusic

I just woke up, and Im a tad emotionally unstable. I have a cold, feeling totally crappy and under the weather, and my Mother just ditched me to sleep. I only just looked at my school timetable to see I have a lesson at 11:10. If I hadnt paniced when she went to bed and got up to get ready, I would've ended up missing another lesson due to over-sleepyness. This probally makes no sense, Im half-asleep as I write this. Im just so pissed off. Like, Angry-Cry-y mood. Its raining, My mum ditched me, and Im ill. I just wanna sleep. I dont want to go to school. I actually almost cried when I saw I had to stay another hour for english. I just want to crawl in a hole and well... stay there for a very long time.

Its raining outside, I dont even want to get dressed properly. URGH. Im texting Becca now. Just a unhappy smiley face, to see what she replies. and then go from there. I hope its less than 17 texts, because thats all I have. I hate feeling crappy like this. I dont even have a valid reason why! IM SO STUPID!! FML.

Here come the tears. :'(

Better go make breakfast in a second. Toast. I lived on that on saturday. My mum never bothered making any food, which she never does anyway because shes all "You know I dont cook on saturdays". and to make matters worse, I came down at 8pm, pretty hungry, but not because my stupid cold, and My dad had made his own food and not even bothered with me. Yeah, thanks for that, you knob. URGH.

Oh, and yeah, Im pretty run down with this cold and yesterday I got dragged into babysitting for Kelly and Christopher while they went to the dentist. I was half asleep at like 3pm when Kelly ran to ask, but I couldnt say no, could I? They said an hour. The minutue I got into the house, Kelly hands my Natasha's dinner and gets me to feed her. The kids were okay though. Only the odd tantrum, It was fine. I was the nice aunty that let them have a bar of chocolate and a packet of crisps each, clearly because I was rebeling about the whole thing.

Oh, and the word "No" is clearly a word my Mother doesnt understand. Yesterday morning, I was on the laptop, talking to some of my friends and she phones up. I know she only phones up for the laptop, so I reluctantly answered. She was all "Bring the laptop down" and I was all "No" and then she'd ask a few more times, each time my answer no, and then she'd end up hanging the phone up on me. Seriously, she's so rude to me! If I did that to her, she'd shout the hell out of me. Oh, and the hanging up is supposidly her saying yes for me? Like, what? I said no several times, did you not listen to me? You say no and I have to take it as an answer, so why dont you take mine? She's always on the laptop playing stupid games that she could easily get for her XBOX 360, whereas Im talking to friends and reading things online. I have half a mind to 'Accidently' wipe the games off the laptop and then ban the site she downloads them from. She would be none the wiser. But I wont, because I know I shouldnt.

I really think my mum takes advantage of my temperment. I argue, but when I do, I can never win. She has a sad life that one day, Ill feel sorry for her, and then next? I dont give a shit. I had a dream that somebody at my school put posters up everywhere of my blog and my family saw it and they hated me. Well, If that ever happens, be sure to know, Its not my fault, its yours! You made me like this because you expect to much from me and give me hardly anything in return. and thats why you make me livid and on the verge of saying "I hate you"

Other than that, I just had a very scary dream about living in a big house and getting locked in some big bathroom whilst being chased by the axe-man from Resident Evil. I climbed through a vent and ran away from him, but I ended up getting into room and trying to smash a window that just would. not. break. So I guess I died. I woke up to my mum shouting "Im going back to bed now" and then I had the whole sleepy-panic-dont-know-whats-happening thang going on.

In my mums world, My no's mean yes. And I hate it.

Can I have a hug? :(

I am going away for a while
I'll be back don't try and follow me
I'll return as soon as possible
See I'm tryin' to find my place
It might not be here where I feel safe
We all learn to make mistakes,

And run from them
From them
With no direction
We'll run from them
From them
With no conviction

I'm just one of those ghosts
Traveling endlessly
Don't need no roads
In fact they follow me
And we just go in circles

Now I'm told that this is life
Pain is just a simple compromise
So we can we get what we want out of it
Someone care to classify
Broken hearts and twisted minds
So i can find, someone to rely on,

And run to them
to them
Full speed ahead
Oh you are not
Useless
We are just

Misguided ghosts
Traveling endlessly
The ones we trusted the most
Pushed us far away
And there's no one road
We should not be the same
I'm just a ghost
And still they echo me
They echo me in circles.

Guess who just finished writing their first 25 mark essay for psychology? Me! Guess who thinks they did really well at it? You? Definatly not me. Its only eight-hundred and ten words. Atleast its done and I have a weight off of my shoulders for the time being. Tomorrow I will not be late for psychology like last week. Oh my, was that bad! See, my school scedule works on the basis of which week it is, Week A or Week B. Week A's my friday double of psychology doesnt start until second lesson, but on week B's my double starts at 8:45 am. So, guess what time I woke up last week? 8:48. Oh dear. I have never moved so fast in my life. I hopped into some random clothes, which all turned out to be black (Black leggings, shirt, cardigan boots and to match, my black school bag) and stormed downstairs like a herd of elephants on a stampeed, telling my mum "Wrong week, Mum!" before she was all "OH MY GOD! Im so sorry, I though we were on week A!" I ended up being a half an hour late. I said sorry, but my teacher was still all "Wait for me outside and we'll talk"
O.o
The class ended up being dismissed half an hour before the bell, but I stayed (On my own with Miss Davies, might I add. I think thats rather brave) to sort through my notes for the essay I finished tonight. I just sat there in silence writing a list of what I needed to write in the essay, hoping Miss D would see that I am a good girl who didnt mean to be late.

Today, I was, again, almost in trouble in psychology for forgetting to take notes on the sheet we were given. Im not doing well with school am I? Maybe Im just not into the swing of things again just yet. I also almost forgot to pick my nephew up from school. Whoops. He was such a chav on the way home. He stole my phone off me, started to play Katy Perry - Teenage Dream on repeat and stuck the phone in his pocket. If he developed a strut, Id say he was too mature for his age. Eight year olds are supposed to play cars, not music! Oh, and we just had a thunder and lightening storm which was awesomely scary. And after? A double rainbow! Whey!

Okay well, I must be off for now. Must go srub-a-dub-dub in the tub, Also known as taking a shower. I dont do bath's. Good day to you. ♥

#RandomFact Norman Bates? Psycho? Psychology centred post? Geddit?

#RandomMusic

I always get ideas for stories, but I can never seem to be able to string my ideas together. The most I can do is get one or two chapters written, and then I dont know what to do. Today I got and idea, and I couldnt write anything about it, so instead, I wrote a blurb and a made a cover for it, along with a title. That way, in the future, Ill have a bunch of idea's that I can use when I figure out how to string my idea's together. -Sigh- Becca is such a better writer than me.