Last night.. and well, this morning, too, was absolutely crazy. Beccafest. Also known as Wankfest and .. something else I cannot remember because I was slightly drunkard. I had a bottle of Bacardi Breezer to myself, and then orange and vodka x2 and then Pims and sparkling water x2. It was crazzyyy. Two couples got in the bath together at one point, and I remember walking in, taking one look and thinking “whhaaat thaaa faaa!?” and then walking out again to get another drink. Becca and I were up cleaning and like six in the morning, washing chocolate cake off the floors, walls and ceilings. And then I slept until midday and woke up for tea and marmite on toast, and then a little later soup and tea. Everyone ate the popcorn… all three packets of four, and the four pack of pot noodles had gone, along with fireworks, milk and pizza. Again I say… it was crazzzyyyy. And now? Now I'm really tired and want to go to bed again. But I cant. Its a silly time to sleep. Well, G’day dear readers, type later.

 Another red light on a cold November day
I see the faces following close in a long headlight parade
to a resting place where tear-stained eyes say goodbye
I've been moving so fast I've forgotten where I'm going
I'm driving blind but the wheels of life have a beautiful way of slowing you down sometimes to catch your breath and take a second to
smile when you're not supposed to laugh
and cry when you're supposed to hold it back
and live like the sun is burning out of the sky
'cause tomorrow's too late so don't waste a day of this life

On Thursday I went to London Zoo with my psychology class to watch a talk on Phobia’s. We were hypnotized to be relaxed around spiders and then we held a tarantula. Yeah… I held this huuuuge thang here.

*Shivers* It was not too bad, but I was nervous. Yucky. I did enjoy the day though, even if I was completely out of it from all my cold medicine. I took some pictures of some animals.

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Lets hope the link works. :)

Anyways, Monday is my Granddad’s funeral. I haven't cried about it since the Wednesday he went, but I know I will definatly cry a load at the funeral.   Tuesday I get to just sleep, and do what I please, and then Wednesday I am going to pack my suitcase and go over to Becca’s house, where I will basically be living for the next three weeks, because her mum and her mums bo--Fiancé are going away for a while.

I get my own room, and Becca and I have to survive independent living without injury. Haha. I mean, seriously, she phoned me up earlier asking what I wanted food-wise, and our shopping list is full of snack food and cereal. We’re going to do so well! ;)

And, Thursday is going to be crazy beyond belief because I’ll be the only sober and non-high person at her house, because we’re having a nice little party, if you remember me writing before, called Wankfest. LOL.

Anyway, I promise to try and keep you more updated. :)

Have a good day. ♥

Yesterday, at 7:15pm, my Granddad passed away in hospital. Seeing my Mum, my aunt, uncle and cousins cry like that was heartbreaking. It didn't even feel real because it happened so quickly. He went into Bristol’s hospital on Sunday or Monday for a bypass operation, and then Tuesday and yesterday his kidneys and lungs started to give up.

We were sat in the CICU’s waiting room and the nurse came out. None of us expected that he’d already gone. We had to wait another ten or twenty minutes before seeing him because they had to pull his tubes out. But, when we did see him, it was… I don’t even have the words to describe it. I was scared to touch him at first, and I was just stood watching everybody cry and hold his hand, kiss his forehead, stroke his hair. I just didn't know what to do. When everyone had gone, It was just Kelly and I, and she wrapped an arm around me and pulled me over to Granddad while stroking my back (Which was the nicest thing she’s actually ever done). I stroked his cheek and patted his shoulder. I didn't know what else to do. Then Christopher came in again to make sure Kelly was okay, and I watched K kiss his forehead before going to C so we could go back downstairs to Mum, who had to go have a cigarette. We went down and she was on the phone to Sam, and K told mum to tell her that she had “Done what she asked”

It looks like, even though this family is messed up, we are here for each other when its most needed. Here when its needed, and not when its wanted.

I wont be going to school today. This is the first person, someone close to me, who I have seen pass away since I was younger. I’ve tired myself out with all the sobbing, but Its nice to lay there before drifting to sleep, hearing him in my head like a crazy person I most probably am.

Granddad’s got his hat on,
Hip hip hip-o-ray.
Granddad’s got his hat on
and he’s coming out to play.

R.I.P Granddad. I’ll look after mum. xxx

I woke up at 7am, after going to bed at 2am with a huge smile plastered across my face, and I woke up ill. Typical. Bloody effing typical. I was battling with my stomach for about an hour before my mum got up and made everything better by popping me on the sofa with a glass of water, half my bed and the washing up bowl from the sink. I have yet to actually, for lack of a better term in mind, puke. I don’t think I will, in all honesty either. I just felt like I was and my stomach was hurting like the last time I remembered having a stomach bug. But no actual puking.

I feel like I’ve constantly been ill so far this year. The two weeks leading up to my psychology exam I was stressing out and panicking myself to illness, and then I got a stress cold sore –AFTER- the exam. Its not looking good for me. I think I’m going to attempt a nap now.

……………………

I wrote that yesterday. I did nap for an hour. Or at least I think I did. I went to sleep with the radio on, and woke up with it off. And then I forgot to write the rest of it, and here I am, Sunday 3pm, writing this blog instead of writing my English coursework and commentary that are due in tomorrow. I've done some editing of it today though, which is more than I've done on it for the past I don't know how man weeks. I haven't done anything on it since before Christmas, so yeah.

 

Better get to doin’ the ole coursework. Sigh.