When we were 13, we said we would be friends forever
But here we are, long before forever.

You're different now.
I dont like the way you changed.
I told you I didnt want to be friends anymore.
You took it so childishly.
You blocked me on MSN, you took me off you'r friends list on facebook.
Was that nessecary?

You can't take away the times we spent together and you can't forget how good those three years were. We went on holiday together and we had sleepovers. You got me into Twilight and helped me through those english lessons. I was still bullied, but I felt better about myself with you by my side. When you came back from college, you changed for the worse. Your self-centred and you say you dont care but you obviously do. The boy that likes you a lot, you like back, but you refuse to go out with him because of several ridiculous reasons.

1) Your best friends with him and are worried about your friendship, unnessecarily.
2) Your worried about what others will think of you because he isnt exactly the coolest gut around.
3) Your hell-bent on getting some other guy who is apparently perfect. If a weed-taking guy whos growing dreadlocks and HAS A GIRLFRIEND is perfect for you, then obvioulsy people are going to love you so much. Please note sarcasm....

I hope you move on, as I am intending to do. It was fun while it lasted and I wish you all the best with your future. Good luck, my old friend.

2009 was my last compulsary year of school. Gone were those times. Most of my friends moved on to college after our exam results. I did pretty well, in my eyes, as well as my mums. I dont know what my dad thought about my final grades, he didnt really take much interest. I practically failed art... but that was okay.


My old Best Friend, Hayley, and I before Prom.


Me before Prom. Taken by my Childhood best friend forever, Charr Larr

July 2009 I had my prom. Im not the type of girl to like dresses, but I surprised everyone, including myself, when I picked this dress out. I remember the morning after Prom, My Mum, dad, Charlotte and I were going on holiday to Brean Beach. Brean is near Weston-super-mare and I have been there many times for holiday. We sleep in caravan's for two weeks. Its pretty fun, and I class it as a second home.

Just before christmas, I started to talk to more people online. The rest is history. I now have some great friends who have changed my life for the better. And here I am, writing a blog about my life. Now that you know more about me, I think its safe to say I can write more about whats happening now and not the past, even if it is what made me who I am today.

XxxxX

Im Victoria Jayne Telling. I am sixteen years old and live in the village of wroughton. Ive lived here for my whole life. I was born on the 27th day of July in 1993. This is my story.



I live with my parents; My mum, Jayne Marie Telling and my dad, Nigel Francis Telling. As I was growing up, I grew up with a little Chihuahua named Gizmo. He used to bite my ankles every now and then, but seeing that he had no teeth, it didnt really bother me. I remember the day he was put down so well. Much of my childhood has been forgotten with time in my memories, but this i remember. I remember dancing around at school at lunch singing christmas songs with an old friend of mine. When I got home, i didnt even notice he was gone. My mum told me that my grandad had taken 'Gizzy' to be put down. She pulled me onto her lap and I cried for a while. Gizmo had to be put down. He was 13 years old back then and he'd had always been ill. My grandad had saved him from being put down when he was younger. Gizmo was brain-damaged because his parents were champion dogs and the owners interbred them too much, atleast thats what I was told. Gizmo was losing teeth and had kidney problems. He was always peeing on the damn stereo !!

Ive also grown up with four cats....which went down to three on my 13th birthday party. First we had Sabrina and Salem. Salem had to be put down when we found out that he had fluid on the heart. That was the day I saw my dad cry for the first time. Sabrina is the eldest now. She's soft and loving, but as soon as there is a plate of meat around, she dive-bomb's it.


Then there is Cuddles. He is an evil cat most of the time, but he likes his cuddles. He's a huge softy when he isnt trying to impress the ladies. LOL! He attacks the other cats but other than that, he just sleeps. Lazy git.


Then there is Angel. Shes the smallest and youngest cat we have. She's like a little kid, always running around after something; mostly a piece of paper scrunched up in a ball. Even cat's have their own little personalities. All of our cats were stray and we took them in to help them. I remember the one kitten we tried to save, but we couldn't. It was far too late. My mum sat for ages rubbing its back with a warm towel to try and help it survive, but in the end we had to let it go. Little moments like these stick in your mind for years.



My house didnt always have an attic room, which is where I am sat writing this. My dad is a builder and can do anything. He converted the attic into my bedroom, he built our garden walls, the little shelter in our garden, even his tool shed. This picture is the front garden. Thats my dad's handy-work *Smiles all smug like* haha.




My attic room is pretty cool. I often stand at the window watching the sunset. I like the smell of the air when its raining at night. It's all because I remember this one time when i was little, I must have been aroun 6 or 7 years old ,maybe, and I was walking to the shop with my dad in the rain at around 7pm. It was dark and I remember seeing a bat fly away from us when we walked up to a tree. It must have been the first time i had seen a bat, because otherwise I wouldnt have made such a deal about it, and now the crisp smell of the air during those times make me smile.


The weather will always be a big part of anyones life. For me, weather seems to have a small effect on my mood. If its raining, it makes me seem to be more likely to be bored or un-interested. The sun makes me smile, but if its accompanied with too much heat, I guess I might be more easily agitated. Its rather strange.



Rain, Rain, Go away.... Come again another day...



Is this a poppy? I cant remember. This picture was taken in late summer of 2009. I thought this was a rather good picture at the time. I used my old camera....Its a Jazz ... Which reminds me of Jasper.... *Daydreams*



For the past two years, Its snowed rather a loot in the early months of the year. This picture is from February 2009. The snow was melting from the roof of the fish and chip shop down the road from me and the icicles in this picture were the result. I find them beautiful.

Life is a gift. This is part of my gift. I share my gifts with others, so this seems only right.

Seann.
United.
Never forgetting.
Friends for life.
Louise.
Only us three.
Wherever, whenever.
Every day.
Real friends.

Seann and Louise. Love you two just as much. xx

Spelling is important. I should know. I accidently spelt Jasper wrong ONCE and no one will let me forget; Hence the picture.
Words mean a lot. Words can change everything, but they can fix things too. Your life is like a train. Your going along a track and sometimes you change tracks. Other times you enter a dark tunnel. No matter what happens though, there is always a light at the end of the tunnel.

I stayed up rather late last night watching the New Moon DVD. My favourite Extended scene has to be when Alice says "Your a human that smells too good and knows too much... The Volturi could kill us all!"



*Click to enlarge*


Reading back on the chatlogs of my role-playing days make me laugh. I used to play Alice and it was pretty random. I think maybe during these three screenshots, i was hyper.....


*Click to enlarge*

.... But i'd always remember Seann. Louise too, but I kinda deleted the chatlog mentioning her by accident. *Heart-broken* I do love Louise too!!


*Click to enlarge*

Oh dear.... Lets end this blog for now. I think i showed my readers too much.... Sorry for traumatising you !! LOL

Love from Vicky-oxox

XxxxX

Every now and then you seem to have one of "Those days" where nothing goes right. Today was one of those days. I hurt three of the people I love today, which in return killed a part of me. But Seann....Louise. Both of you. I would like to let you know that my life would truly suck without you. Im a better person with you, without you I am nothing. Love you mo-Just as much. Haha. On the other hand, I bought New Moon on DVD !! *Skips around in circles* Yay-a-yay-a-yay-a-yay.

Life is like a razor, if you dont use it correctly, you'll get hurt.

XxxxX

What day is it,
And in what month?
This clock never seemed so alive.

When my head is spinning because of the worries in my head. When I have too many things to do. When I feel as if I cant cope any more.

I can't keep up,
And I can't back down.
I've been losing so much time.

When I feel too far away from my goal. When I know my heart is telling me "I have to do this." When I spend ages thinking about how to handle this situation instead of doing anything to solve it.

Because it's you, and me,
And all other people,
With nothing to do,
And nothing to lose.
And it's you, and me,
And all other people.
And I don't know why
I can't keep my eyes off of you...

I cant keep my eyes off of you .....

All of the things
That I want to say
Just aren't coming out right.

My thoughts flip in the wrong direction. Im unable to say what I mean or mean what I say. Its just too difficult.

I'm tripping on words.
You get my head spinning,
And I don't know where to go from here.

I try to explain, I dont know what to do without your help and guidance.

"There's something about you now
That I can't quite figure out.
Everything she does is beautiful.
Everything she does is right."

The words people say to make you feel better. Your heart and mind battle to tell you whats right and whats wrong; What to believe.

The weather seems to be topsy turvy!! One day its sunny, the next day its pouring down. Its useless! School systems are even more useless. Some days the computers have our files, other days we cant get on the internet. Wroughton, sort. your. life. out. Dont get me wrong, I love my little village. Its small-ish and i know my way around it like the back of my hand, although i dont remember that mole being by my thumb....

The picture above is one of a few i took on the way to my sister-in-laws house. It was raining and i was listening to the song "She is the sunlight" by trading yesterday. Prehaps trying to encourage the sun to peek through the clouds. Rain on its own isnt pleasant, but a rainbow makes it all the better.

Today was an alright day, but i realise i say that about most days, because, in all truth, my days are average and mostly the same sort of thing. I have lessons; Either English, IT Btec or Psychology. I have to pick up my nephew and walk him home on Mondays, tuesdays, wednesdays and fridays. Home.....eat....Internet.....shower...sleep. Its the same all the time.

This past weekend was nice, though. I got a bus to pewsey, which is about a 45 min ride away. The countryside was a nice change to the town centre of swindon and i do admit, after the initial fear of getting on a bus i have never been on before had subsided, the ride was pretty fun. I slept over my friends house on the saterday night and got the bus back the next day. It was a nice weekend and it was a nice change to not be doing the same old repetative things over and over again.

Days, even weeks, after having my first thoughts of starting a blog, here I am, with my very first post. Today was a good day. I started it with a smile, and as it is, I will be ending it with one too. All thanks to one of my favorite people. She may not be my real sister, and I may have never met her, but still the fact stands that we are inseperable sisters. When Im down I think of her and smile, thats how the sun stays shining even when the storm clouds decide to stay.

xxx