Last night.. and well, this morning, too, was absolutely crazy. Beccafest. Also known as Wankfest and .. something else I cannot remember because I was slightly drunkard. I had a bottle of Bacardi Breezer to myself, and then orange and vodka x2 and then Pims and sparkling water x2. It was crazzyyy. Two couples got in the bath together at one point, and I remember walking in, taking one look and thinking “whhaaat thaaa faaa!?” and then walking out again to get another drink. Becca and I were up cleaning and like six in the morning, washing chocolate cake off the floors, walls and ceilings. And then I slept until midday and woke up for tea and marmite on toast, and then a little later soup and tea. Everyone ate the popcorn… all three packets of four, and the four pack of pot noodles had gone, along with fireworks, milk and pizza. Again I say… it was crazzzyyyy. And now? Now I'm really tired and want to go to bed again. But I cant. Its a silly time to sleep. Well, G’day dear readers, type later.

 Another red light on a cold November day
I see the faces following close in a long headlight parade
to a resting place where tear-stained eyes say goodbye
I've been moving so fast I've forgotten where I'm going
I'm driving blind but the wheels of life have a beautiful way of slowing you down sometimes to catch your breath and take a second to
smile when you're not supposed to laugh
and cry when you're supposed to hold it back
and live like the sun is burning out of the sky
'cause tomorrow's too late so don't waste a day of this life

On Thursday I went to London Zoo with my psychology class to watch a talk on Phobia’s. We were hypnotized to be relaxed around spiders and then we held a tarantula. Yeah… I held this huuuuge thang here.

*Shivers* It was not too bad, but I was nervous. Yucky. I did enjoy the day though, even if I was completely out of it from all my cold medicine. I took some pictures of some animals.

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Lets hope the link works. :)

Anyways, Monday is my Granddad’s funeral. I haven't cried about it since the Wednesday he went, but I know I will definatly cry a load at the funeral.   Tuesday I get to just sleep, and do what I please, and then Wednesday I am going to pack my suitcase and go over to Becca’s house, where I will basically be living for the next three weeks, because her mum and her mums bo--Fiancé are going away for a while.

I get my own room, and Becca and I have to survive independent living without injury. Haha. I mean, seriously, she phoned me up earlier asking what I wanted food-wise, and our shopping list is full of snack food and cereal. We’re going to do so well! ;)

And, Thursday is going to be crazy beyond belief because I’ll be the only sober and non-high person at her house, because we’re having a nice little party, if you remember me writing before, called Wankfest. LOL.

Anyway, I promise to try and keep you more updated. :)

Have a good day. ♥

Yesterday, at 7:15pm, my Granddad passed away in hospital. Seeing my Mum, my aunt, uncle and cousins cry like that was heartbreaking. It didn't even feel real because it happened so quickly. He went into Bristol’s hospital on Sunday or Monday for a bypass operation, and then Tuesday and yesterday his kidneys and lungs started to give up.

We were sat in the CICU’s waiting room and the nurse came out. None of us expected that he’d already gone. We had to wait another ten or twenty minutes before seeing him because they had to pull his tubes out. But, when we did see him, it was… I don’t even have the words to describe it. I was scared to touch him at first, and I was just stood watching everybody cry and hold his hand, kiss his forehead, stroke his hair. I just didn't know what to do. When everyone had gone, It was just Kelly and I, and she wrapped an arm around me and pulled me over to Granddad while stroking my back (Which was the nicest thing she’s actually ever done). I stroked his cheek and patted his shoulder. I didn't know what else to do. Then Christopher came in again to make sure Kelly was okay, and I watched K kiss his forehead before going to C so we could go back downstairs to Mum, who had to go have a cigarette. We went down and she was on the phone to Sam, and K told mum to tell her that she had “Done what she asked”

It looks like, even though this family is messed up, we are here for each other when its most needed. Here when its needed, and not when its wanted.

I wont be going to school today. This is the first person, someone close to me, who I have seen pass away since I was younger. I’ve tired myself out with all the sobbing, but Its nice to lay there before drifting to sleep, hearing him in my head like a crazy person I most probably am.

Granddad’s got his hat on,
Hip hip hip-o-ray.
Granddad’s got his hat on
and he’s coming out to play.

R.I.P Granddad. I’ll look after mum. xxx

I woke up at 7am, after going to bed at 2am with a huge smile plastered across my face, and I woke up ill. Typical. Bloody effing typical. I was battling with my stomach for about an hour before my mum got up and made everything better by popping me on the sofa with a glass of water, half my bed and the washing up bowl from the sink. I have yet to actually, for lack of a better term in mind, puke. I don’t think I will, in all honesty either. I just felt like I was and my stomach was hurting like the last time I remembered having a stomach bug. But no actual puking.

I feel like I’ve constantly been ill so far this year. The two weeks leading up to my psychology exam I was stressing out and panicking myself to illness, and then I got a stress cold sore –AFTER- the exam. Its not looking good for me. I think I’m going to attempt a nap now.

……………………

I wrote that yesterday. I did nap for an hour. Or at least I think I did. I went to sleep with the radio on, and woke up with it off. And then I forgot to write the rest of it, and here I am, Sunday 3pm, writing this blog instead of writing my English coursework and commentary that are due in tomorrow. I've done some editing of it today though, which is more than I've done on it for the past I don't know how man weeks. I haven't done anything on it since before Christmas, so yeah.

 

Better get to doin’ the ole coursework. Sigh.

 

My laptop has gone and decided to mix up the “£@# signs. Its okay anywhere, but on the internet. It’s crazy! But, Anyway, I thought I’d share what I found today. I was clearing out the bottom of my wardrobe, as ya do, when I came across these things in particular…

What!? A Lee Mead Badge!? Why!? LOL
And then, there were these…

My old memory books! From when I was eleven (The White one with the flower) to twelve and thirteen (The Red one) and then fifteen to sixteen (The A5 sketching and drawing book) WELL! Wasn't I an odd child. Yeah, I knew that anyway.

It seems when I was eleven I thought that if someone was “Horny” that they were horrible and had horns. Oh, How naive I was! LOL. My writing back then was abysmal. I’ll write you some of the entries, just to emphasis this fact.

“Im boered right now”

The date is 21/02/05 today and The Half Term ended So back to cruel old School again. I though I might doodle things about school

*Doodles very odd things about “crucifying” boys*

Now you know how I feel about my school. Its stupid. I HAte ALL The boyz and Laura .S. In my school! Laura Zippitt is on my back, again. Can’t She Just Shut her Face and be quiet. Id I didn’t know I whold would think shes ellies sister, jacobs sister and even worse Paulas Daughter. Emagine that!

Im having enough from Jellie and Eacob as well. Jacob calling me a tart and Ellie say “Ah, youre friends left you” Well, I did The best Thing possible, eggno not listen. If I could swear about Ellie, Jacob, Paula and Laura .S. I WOULD!

*Nice picture of a hand swearing*
This pic is what I would say to Them if I had the guts to back it up
*Nice little picture of an angry face*
This is what Paula whould look like

It is 7:40 right now. See U later.

“Bored again”

Me again.
Charllore Neil on my back now. I had my first cat fight, but with her.

*I was rather charming right here*
IS SHE A MAN OR A WOMAN?

“04/07/05”

right Then lets get up to date in This book Shall we. what to start with … oh yeah. We went on holiday to brean spent every last pennie There so not much money at the moment. Last wednesday Steph went horrible and Pushed me on the floor and down the stairs. I swear shes the devils daughter. Um. right now I am fed up with Steph. D.B <- Her inistles Devil Bitch.

“5th July 05”

Steph is on my back, AGAIN
I F**king hate her. She is a bitch. She is a beeping horrible person. She will go to hell I will go to heaven.

LOL. What a weird child. A few notes on this. That's all I managed to write in the first “Memory book”. I wrote it exactly as it was in the book, capitals in the wrong places and everything. What was with all the “On my back” … Was I giving piggy-back rides to the people I didn't like back then? What's with the constant re-using of it!? and Whoa! I was rather aggressive back then LOL.

Ive always like the part where I start to write “Ignore” as “Eggnore” and cross it out, only to replace it with “Not listen” Oh, Me as an eleven year old. Bad times. Haha. This is rather amusing though.  Here’s Memory Book 2. Just for LOL’s

“getting up to date”

Laura .b. didnt listen to me when she was with her snot faced friends. Been hanging around with Charlotte more (I still need my Urbz back) been bored out of my head

Big brothers finished. Pete won. I missing Dr Who. Billie is gone according to celebraty soup. David Tennant (Hottie) is quitting after the next season. When I tell Haley she is going to freak. Laura Zippit Hates me. I feel the same about her, oh yeah I offically have no friends. Laura B has move to cheral in a half so I never see her.

“3rd may 07”

UPDATE!!

I may not have many friends in yr9 but I have lots in yr7 and 1 in yr11. Jakie pushed me and I have sayed I will get me revenge hehe *Evil face* when we see each other we alway end up in histericks

i no i havent wrote for ages but in have loads to write now. (I think)

in the last memory book is says i had come back from brean with no money left, well the same has happened. I cant write this quick enough. I meet the new bingo caller!!!! OMG! i fancied him for 2 weeks and on the last day he hugged me + wait for it kissed me on the neck OMG!! i also went to stage fright before holiday and made loads of friends. school is better now cos every break + lunch i go to the Re stairs and meet up with Jess + Natalia. LAVA LOL

My life is officaly getting better. Yay finally. Laura sippit (I wont turn the s into a z) said she was moving to yeavil cos social services found out from mel (apparently) that her step mum had been hurting her and thats why she doesnt take her jumper off. Im going to Musarama 2 + Tup puskin nook.

Im listening to music on my PC. Im happy enough write back later p.s the date is 23?06/07 p.s p.s what does p.s mean? Hmmm im pondering LOL. SHAME LOL

And that was the end of the second memory book. On the back, it was quite amusing to find that it said “Memory book 1 now available in Vicky’s room” … LOL. Just to clear things up, this Laura S always was and always will be a compulsive liar, so her step mum never did hurt her. AND OMG.

Mike the bingo caller <3
My first big time crush. He is like… five years older than me, I think. But He’s awesome. He really is just a generally nice guy, who is quite attractive, so little ole me warmed up to him instantly. And that neck kiss. OMG. My dad was stood watching, and there I was, bright as a tomato. Good times. Haha.

So, now onto whats happening now! … Well, Now-ish.

February 22nd I think it is, I shall be living with Beccalarr for two whole weeks. And this will include being the house maid after something known as “Wankfest” … It includes no such thing, so do not worry, my friend. It is just a party with a bunch of drunk teenagers, and hopefully, no jelly cubes on the windowsill two months later this time. This is the party plan Becca and I have got going on…

Hahahaha, Like the little watermark in the bottom right-hand corner? Epic. Well, Yeah, those are my duties for the party. The sandwiches and coffee are for Becca so she don’t get too rat-arsed on me and pass out. I will inevitably be the only sober person at this party, as I’m not much of a drinker, and plus, I don’t really want to be sick, if I’m honest.

Yeah, We have to make sure the house is clean by 1pm the next day because Becca’s cleaner Shirley will be around. Yes, She’d got a cleaner. Posh ole cow, she is. Don’t know why a commoner like me’s ‘anging ‘round with ‘er kind.

I keed I keed.

But, anyways. Psychology exam is all over and done with. I’m so pleased its over with! It was the worst thing that has ever happened to me. And, now I have to concentrate on getting my englush coursework and commentary doen in the week, otherwise I’m going to be killed by none other than Miss Williams. I dun wanna die because of english!

Wish me luck with my living aspirations. Until next time, Readers, I hope you enjoyed this very long entry. Gave you something to do, though, right? ;)

♥

Oh. My. Dear. Lordypops. (Haven’t said that for a while)

I finally got past that dang psychology exam of mine. Well! What a kerfuffle! The questions were pretty fair, to be honest, but that didn't help all that much. I had revised the first two questions pretty well considering, but with the third question I almost hit myself. I’ll give you a little diagram to demonstrate as to why, because I cant really think of how to explain it.

Aggression topic

First part – Revised for
Second part – Revised for
Third part – Gave up.

Guess which part had the question? Yeah… The third part. The one I hadn't even revised for because I gave up. Bad. Actual. Times.

But all is over now, and I don’t need to worry anymore. Well, that is until the results and I sit there listening to the rest of the class getting A’s and B’s, and then me with my dang U or E.  Miss Davies will be so disappointed!

A child just bought me over a cup covered in butter, and the crusts of her sammich. Yum. Just don’t get it over me, my phone or my laptop. And I just hid my phone from butter fingers and she held her hands up and was like “Where’d it go?” Haha. Oh, some children are so adorable.

The post man just came! The post man just came! … Hmph. I haven't got any post. Stoopid royal mail. It’s all okay though. I’ll be patient.

So, Tonight I’ll be heading over to my sister, Sam’s, to celebrate her 31st birthday. I may or may not be taking my Pim’s to get drunk on it with lemonade. But, right now, I really want to get a drink and some lunch. Nom. Nom. Nom.

Is it obvious that I’m in a better mood than I was before? Yeah, I was ill from stressing over that darn psychology exam. Thank goodness its over!

Until next time, my wonderful readers. Au revoir. oxoxoxoxo

Crystal ships march safely through a storm
And for a moment it felt like everything was fine
I'm fond of sleeping on the horizon
Wake me up when the half-moon rises

As they land on my shoulders,
The petals turn to dust
My arms are heavy soldiers,
Left out becoming rust

Mother nature
The weight of the world on my shoulders
With rage and force, she ends the madness
We shiver, we shudder.

That song is by Behind Sapphire. I found it on Jodelle’s (The Girl who plays Bree Tanner in Eclipse) twitter. She’s in the video, but that’s besides the point. Its a nice song. And, I commented on the YouTube video “I want to marry this song < 33” and  Behind Sapphire commented back with a heart. Hehe. Little uplifts like that.

I have two days until my psychology exam. Right now, I have no idea where it is, but I’m guessing in the hall, and I don’t know where my seat is. And, oh yeah, I haven't even finished revision. I still have the whole of aggression to do, and then i have to go over it all again to make sure I know it all for the exam. I'm so tempted to just not do aggression and focus on Relationships and Eating behaviours.

I mean, even though I have done the revision, I don’t know anything, but hopefully seeing the questions in the exam will trigger things in my head, and I can sit there for the hour and a half scribbling down anything and everything in my head.

I came home after first lesson yesterday. I sat in English feeling completely sick. I had to get up and go outside it was so bad. I think the stress of this exam is getting to me. This week will be the second week in a row I don’t get my £20 E.M.A because I haven't gone to enough lessons. But, its not my fault I’m ill.  I don’t even want to be ill. I hate it!

I’ll eat my sandwich, the one my Daddy made me because my mum is ill(er than usual) right now. He makes better sandwiches, and I don't know if it has anything to do with the fact he cuts them into triangles or not. Haha.
I will do my revision sheets after that sandwich, and I will spend the rest of the afternoon doing that, if I don't get frustrated with it and stop. But if I do, I’ll just stare at my desktop and grin like a fool to myself. Its all good

 

Better go eat, drink and be merry until I end up killing myself on Friday morning. No, I wont kill myself, I’ll just give up and curl up in bed all “Me no wanna!” and then end up having to drag myself to school for the exam. I’ll have fun, I know I will… >-<