Yesterday, at 7:15pm, my Granddad passed away in hospital. Seeing my Mum, my aunt, uncle and cousins cry like that was heartbreaking. It didn't even feel real because it happened so quickly. He went into Bristol’s hospital on Sunday or Monday for a bypass operation, and then Tuesday and yesterday his kidneys and lungs started to give up.
We were sat in the CICU’s waiting room and the nurse came out. None of us expected that he’d already gone. We had to wait another ten or twenty minutes before seeing him because they had to pull his tubes out. But, when we did see him, it was… I don’t even have the words to describe it. I was scared to touch him at first, and I was just stood watching everybody cry and hold his hand, kiss his forehead, stroke his hair. I just didn't know what to do. When everyone had gone, It was just Kelly and I, and she wrapped an arm around me and pulled me over to Granddad while stroking my back (Which was the nicest thing she’s actually ever done). I stroked his cheek and patted his shoulder. I didn't know what else to do. Then Christopher came in again to make sure Kelly was okay, and I watched K kiss his forehead before going to C so we could go back downstairs to Mum, who had to go have a cigarette. We went down and she was on the phone to Sam, and K told mum to tell her that she had “Done what she asked”
It looks like, even though this family is messed up, we are here for each other when its most needed. Here when its needed, and not when its wanted.
I wont be going to school today. This is the first person, someone close to me, who I have seen pass away since I was younger. I’ve tired myself out with all the sobbing, but Its nice to lay there before drifting to sleep, hearing him in my head like a crazy person I most probably am.
Granddad’s got his hat on,
Hip hip hip-o-ray.
Granddad’s got his hat on
and he’s coming out to play.
R.I.P Granddad. I’ll look after mum. xxx
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