Eek, Thirteen days until I fly back to America for two weeks. Its coming around so fast yet again, and I’m so so excited! I know like 4 days into being there again I’ll be getting myself all upset thinking about coming back to the UK. I did that last time, I just did not want to come back. I don’t have the guts to abandon everything though, however much I’d love to be really selfish and stay there for as long as I possibly can. Unfortunately I have a practically full time job where they rely on me (a bit too much) and I also have a mother who would complain. (While I was away last time I joked on facebook about how I wasnt coming back and she was all “Oh, but I need my baby back” yet she skyped me once during the whole two weeks and kept putting off another call, and when I got home she didnt really act as if she missed me that much.)

This year is going to be pretty much all go for me. Now I’m doing 6 day weeks (And I had no choice but to work the Sunday shift today, more about that in a bit) and I’ve been hanging with Zoey a lot lately too, so we have weekly costa coffee/lemonade. She says it should be twice a week though. Sounds good to me! Since we’ve both gotten pretty much obsessed with Lost Girl, we’re back to being closer friends again, which is brilliant because I finally have somebody to hang out with and she knows everything going on so we always talk about things, and its good to have that person there for you when you need it, for like actual physical hugs and talks and stuff. I’m thankful to still be such good friends with her since school, even with all the stuff thats happened (Which we were laughing about the other day so its all cool. Twitter RP really was stupid)

So other than working 6 day weeks, obviously I have this trip to america in thirteen days, and then in… May there is a Lost Girl/Once upon a Time convention that Zo and I are planning to go to. Gotta meet Tam Tam and Dr Lauren “Hotpants” Lewis. (Thats a name given by the fandom, not me.) Oh, and Trick the Blood King Prick will be there too but.. meh. And then I’m apparently having some sort of this… birthday party thing for my 21st. It’ll theoretically be better than last years birthday in which I spent the day at my nieces 11th birthday party for her birthday two days before and the family that went didnt even remember it was my 20th (And my sister felt bad for me so gave me my nieces second cake…yeah)
Also, some point this year I’ve got my cousins hen do to attend now that I finally got invited. AThe invite is a year too late, feeling like an after thought, but I guess she didnt realise I was actually 20 years old now.
Its 180pound, so I’ll have to budget for it, as well as the convention and tickets to go back to Knoxville in September. So yeah, 2014 is busy!

Yeah, the whole working on Sunday thing that happened today. I had no choice in the matter even though I kept saying no to the duty manager on the phone, but I went in 8-10 and did a basic bake. I dont even know what a basic bake is for sundays, but apparently I did pretty good. I made more than sundays usually have, but it still wasnt too much. I’ll see what the waste is like tomorrow morning, but hey! at least the bread will actually be trayed up for me on a monday for the first time since I started! If I can bake more than they usually do on a sunday and manage to clean the bakery as well as tray up for tomorrow in two hours, oh my days they have no more valid excuses from now on. Apparently I’ve been doing really good in the bakery, now that I’m the only baker. I’m proud to say that I keep it pretty organised, and I do complain when people leave things in the bakery overnight, among all the other complaints. My manager told me today that its good I complain though because it means I give a shit. His actual words. He also went on to say that he’s glad I’m doing this NVQ because I’m a smart ki-girl. (Yeah, he corrected himself from saying Kid to girl, so theres some progress) Also, he mentioned that he thinks I could be duty manager material in the future. Well then…

 

Ready to roll!

Todays Blog title is lyrics courtesy of Stay The Night – Zedd ft Hayley Williams

BUH-BYE READERS <3

 

Don’t even judge the title of this blog. I told myself I would use lyrics from the next song to play on spotify. So, as you can see from the picture, my Yogscast Nilesy shirt came a week or two ago, and I LOVE IT. I’m glad I bought it, to be honest, and I took this picture after work so I’m impressed my hair actually looks half decent for once.

19 DAYS UNTIL I GO BACK TO AMERICA!

Not that I’m counting down again.

These past two weeks have flown by though with work. I’ve been working Monday to Saturday, so I only get a lay in past 6am on Sundays. Its worth being there everyday to keep the bakery up together though because whenever Im not there (namely sundays) the next day is complete and utter shite because they dont tray up anything in advance, or clean, or defrost things overnight, or bake extra things like pies or maple pecans or puff pastries. They really such, and they always say its my fault when they dont do the right thing, and then say that they dont have enough time on a sunday to do it properly. smh

Atleast on the 21st of Feb (A day or two before I come home, sad face) I’ll get a big-ish wage packet for all my over time. I work at least 30 hrs a week on a 16hr contract. So I'll come back from America rich. Not sure how much I’ll be taking to america yet, I’ll just have to see what kind of money I get paid this friday. On the up-side to my mother owing me a bit of money, my rent will be like 80 pound or so this month, which gives me a little extra money to play with for america, as well as getting my brother and nephew birthday presents. Surprisingly enough though, I managed to still have atleast 150 pounds still in my bank from my christmas wages.

Last week was busy as hell though, guys! Wednesday afternoon I went out with Zoey to get coffee, and then we went to TK Max to hunt for twinkies (Which was unsuccessful) and then got pizza at Pizza Hut and then strolled over to the bowling alley to play in the arcade there, and then got coffee again. Thursday I had stock take, so effectively I had a split shift and did almost 10 hours work, and then Friday from 12;30pm-6;30pm I had to go up to cainscross to attend an NVQ sign up. I’ll be getting a Retail NVQ level two after doing a bunch of work, but I have to stay at the job for at least another year or they wont give me the qualification. I’m not too sure how that'll work out but I doubt I’ll be too fussed if I drop out of the course at any point. It would be nice to work towards it and get it though.

^^ Coffee numero uno. (My iced caramel latte was waaaay too strong though)

and saturday night, I hung out with Zoey again and we had a Lost Girl marathon, and it was awesome. Gotta love some Lost Girl. Excuse my face in the following picture LOL.

Yeah, Lost Girl is my new addiction, by the way. I chain watched 3 whole seasons on Netflix. Oh thank the lord for Netflix.

anyway, I'm gunna go and grab a snack and chill out

BUH-BYE <3

There are exactly 32 days until February 8th 2014. Time always goes faster than you think. One minute its a hundred days, and then boom, you're practically there. Yep, Feb 8th I’m going back to America for two weeks, of course! This time I’m 110% more excited than I was last time because I know what to expect from the travelling side of things so I don’t have to be too nervous about what I’m doing with flights. The only nail biter is getting through customs in washinton because last time I went through american customs it was in Chicago, and I had met a really nice couple on the plane there so they helped me get through it. They also helped me grab my bags, and get to my next gate via a.. subway rail-like thing.

But I know that as soon as I get off my favourite tiny plane to Knoxville, I’ll go through those revolving doors next to the little security section and I’ll get the best hug ever; A hug that I’ve been missing for a whole four months now. It’ll be 5 months, but then between Feb and September, I dont even want to think about it.

Anyway, its 2014! How did I spend my last moments of 2013? I was asleep actually. I had worked my butt off in the bakery at work all day so it was pretty hard staying up past 10pm. And how did I do for Christmas? Well, lets go onto this topic with an open mind for the time being…

Christmas, I was really proud that I was getting everyone presents and I was enjoying wrapping them up and everything. Which is all great and dandy, but as always I was worried about what I was getting. I hate sounding selfish, but I worry I wont like what my family get me. Namely my mother because she doesnt know what I want ever. Probably because she doesnt know me at all. But, nonetheless I hate thinking that I wont like anything she gets me and I’ll make it obvious in my face. Apparently my poker face needs to up its game when it comes to Birthday and Christmas gift opening. (Well, get me decent shit then.)

Before I pop a photo in of what I got for Christmas this year, lets bare in mind that it was 80% better than my 20th birthday in July, where I was forced to fake a smile all day because I was at my nieces 11th birthday party (Her birthday is two days before mine) and a bunch of my family were there, only to find out none of them realised it was even my birthday. It was pretty heartbreaking, if I’m completely honest. My niece had originally had two cakes, but my sister felt bad for me so she lit the candles of one for me. Even writing this and remembering it all makes me really sad. I don’t remember what my parents got me, I think it might have been 50 pound. In hindsight, I should have just canceled having the day off work and gone in. But anyway, here is my Christmas presents (minus the chocolate selection box I ate, and the Chocolate Santa the kids ate)

My parents actually got more than me this year, which is a first ever. I’m not gunna continue to sound like a grinch anymore, so I wont complain any more. I did however buy myself something to cheer me up. (I splashed out big time, guys!)

YAY! 3DS and games. I definitely do not regret doing this. And I’m still left with a decent amount of money in my pocket, so thats a good thing! But I wont be lending anymore to my mother, I’m fed up with her “We should be able to help each other out with money like this” logic, meaning “Just do it or I’ll tell your brother and sister, and they’ll moan at you and write you a detailed list of how much it’ll cost for you to live somewhere that isnt here” … that legit happened when I wouldn't cough up 100 for the heater to be fixed.

Warning. Rant on Mother incoming!

She’s turned into a hungry, money eating dinosaur as of recent years. She’s “quitting” smoking currently (and has been for about 6 months now) where she uses E-cigarettes and buys the expensive refills, but she’s also smoking normally as well, so she’s spending twice as much on her smoking habit, but apparently its better because her health is benefitting from it. Hey… smell that…? I think its BULLSHIT!
Spending all this extra money on her crap as usual has ended up with having my cousin live with us again to A) keep him from sleeping in his car every night and B) put money in her pocket…
And, she’s getting more and more housebound (Lazy) with me working in a shop. I work about 5 minutes walk away from work and she’s only ever visited me a hand full of times when my sister would DRIVE HER here to do shopping, and even though she is fully capable of walking up to get some milk herself she’ll wait and get me to bring it home, buying it with my own money and forget to pay me back.

She’s getting more and more on my nerves. She keeps shouting at me to stop making her feel guilty when I bring up things like how horrible my birthday was, and I’m just there like.. good, you feel guilty because you know it was shit, at least. She dotes on my siblings 24/7 and never thinks about me, even though I’m the one who lives at home still (unfortunately)
Maybe its because I’m not married, and have kids already or something. I have to have babies to make her notice me? That’ll be a long while, I’m afriad. My sister comes once a week, every week to talk to mum about things like her kids and hubby problems and my mum is more than happy to sit and talk with her about it all, but she’ll not look away from Candy Crush long enough to even look at me while I’m trying to talk to her about something. Halloween, all I remember is my mother picking up certain candy for giving the trick-or-treaters because my sister liked them. So I asked what’s my favourite and she didn't have an answer.

And another time when my sister got a new haircut, she said “having new haircuts all the time is what makes your sister her.” and so I asked what makes me me, and her answer? “You’re stubborn, You roll your eyes too much and you don't clean up” Well thanks, that's the best description of some one ever, and that's just so me. *ROLLS FUCKING EYES*

END OF RANTING for now…

Well, at least I know who I am thanks to last year. And this year will only get better. I got to get more excited about my trip while at work today because Grace was asking me about last time, and I told her all about the different planes, and the 20 minute walk to my gate in Heathrow, and the Chicago subway, and my favourite shaky hug. I got a little behind with cooking the cheese twists, but I was happy so it’s all fine. I think if I’m working 6 days a week now that Brenda has retired, then I’m allowed to do something that makes the day go better at least.

Anyway, I’m thinking of painting something. Not sure what yet, but lets see what inspiration I can get.

BUH-BYE! <3

Its been four long days since I’ve written. Lets start with something important that I managed to do the other day. I finally, after at least two weeks of waiting for the right moment, told my parents that I’m bisexual. Yeah. This is also the first time I’ll be actually saying it with written words on this blog too. No holding back from the truth here. This is a journal of my life, gotta write down something important like this, although my sexual orientation should not matter because I’m still the same person as I was before I accepted it (Finally). Its been a long time coming, I realise. More than four years, at least. I guess that the views of my close friends, while I was at school still, regarding this subject didn't help me all that much. Apparently its greedy to love both, but how can I help having a big, accepting heart? I can’t help that I see the good in everybody, its a flaw, and I’m happy as I am. Heck, I’m still accepting it now. I can still go on to have a husband and kids, I just.. might get close to one girl or another at some point along the way. What's the big deal of that, anyway? Mum went a bit… crazy. She kept asking how on earth I know when I haven't even been in a relationship with either… And I realise now that its probably not even my parents place to know my sexuality, because its not important to them really. (Or least it shouldnt be) I’m happy though. I’m just getting on with life as it comes to me, its not like I planned to do this. Oh well, I’m comfortable with who I am, and if others can’t accept that then its their problem, not mine. I have the support I need. (Even if the little butts made me cry on video with them. Butts..)

 

They were supposedly in the kitchen “Cleaning” and then Misa went to “help them clean” and then they all came over to the camera and stood in a line with “We Love You Vicky <3” on paper, and it was the sweetest thing anybody has ever done for me in my whole life, and we wonder why I love these adorable little Americans so damn much!

In other news, I babysat last night for Christopher and Kelly. I thought I was being super nanny with being able to get Logan to sleep in his crib without his mum being there, but then he woke up and would. not. stop. crying. I dealt with it calmly though, It really didnt get me stressed out or anything, I was just concerned because he was getting really hot and bothered. Apparently he was teething. Dawe. But while he was asleep for the little time, I had ordered Pizza. (Dad was there, too, and we hadnt eaten, and cos the kids were there we got a little extra pizza and stuff for them so they wouldnt feel left out.) Anyway, I’m getting the boys food and decide to get a little box together of some of the food for Natasha, who i had taken up to bed about 45 minutes beforehand. Anyway, I heard her coughing and also got her a little drink to take up. I go up with the pizza and drink and she's there mumbling to herself and crying whilst ripping up some tissue out of frustration. Now, I could tell what was going on, as I was there many times when I was growing up. She had heard what was going on downstairs and felt left out, and also she was missing her parents, but I give the pizza and drink to her and ask her if she was crying because she felt left out, and she nodded with the biggest smile on her face. Bless her little cotton socks. I told her to sleep as soon as she had eaten her pizza and then her mummy and daddy would be back quicker, and then I left to finally go eat my own pizza. Ain’t I a good auntie Tori?

Anyway, in other news, today I find out I don't have work until Wednesday, so I have a 4 day weekend to get really bored with. And here I am writing all this. And after a lovely wall of text covering my blog and keeping my future self, and any reader who stumbles upon this, updated I can end this post and jump on Xbox to play some games with my lovely American friends. And we wonder why I want to move over there…

 

BUH-BYE <3

 

This is a lovely instagram filtered picture of me getting ready for my first ever work Christmas dinner. Look how…old I look. Do I look 20 yet, or am I still baby faced as everybody keeps telling me. I still feel like I’m 16 or something. I wore my new favourite purple dress (I wouldnt be saying that about a dress a couple years back, hmm?) and it was a lovely night filled with a little awkwardness, food and drink. There were too many familiar faces from school at the pub dinner. (And by too many, I mean two. Including Dan who used to copy my english work in year 9 and always ended up getting better grades in english. Ffffffffuuuuu)

Here's my b-e-a-utiful dress. Don't mind the smirk-y face, it was a picture for my…well, ya know.

I’ll be wearing this dress on valentines day 2014. Yeah. So. I HAVE A VALENTINES DATE. and every time I think about it I get all giddy and giggly and then I feel myself going red cheeked and then I make myself stop thinking about it. So here's me not thinking about it too much, moooving onwards…

I've actually just got my first Amazon shipment of Christmas presents for people. I got paid last Friday and practically bought everybody's presents on Amazon that evening, getting a couple of good lightening deals too. And I spent almost the minimum I could. ALSO. OH DAYS, ALSO!! I did some extreme bloody couponing with a mixture of vouchers and coupons at Co-op, ending up paying 3.68 for 80 pounds worth of stuff!! This picture…this…picture…

Minus the cat (Although I did spend 41 pound on vet fees yesterday for her, more on that in a second) We got so much stuff. Including the turkey and some wonderful Smirnoff Ice, which I have already finished a bottle of. Mm.

Poor Binx had to be taken to the vet, just to be safe than sorry, because she’d had blood in her pee for a day and a bit. After two anti-inflammatory injections, she seems okay today. We are supposed to give her wet food only, and add a little extra water to it so that we can flush whatever it is out of her system, but mother (Lazy as ever, and uninterested in what I have to say as usual) cant be bothered to not feed her biscuits. Yeah. Logic. Complaining over with that, she’s paying me the 42 pound for vet fees after Christmas anyway.

Last night I actually drank the bottle of smirnoff and had some lovely drunk minecraft for a while, until this glorious little picture was taken…

Look at both my lovely excitement expression, and the lovely creeper shirt, as well as all my favourite people in the other picture. Well, Leslie was out of the picture but she was there too. (And Len, her little adorable boy stood next to Misa) It was good to be included in that little moment, but I cant help but feel sad because I wasn't physically there. Still, it was better than nothing. Those people are so majestical. (Especially Will. As he is Will the Majestical Door Greeter)

Ahem…

Anyway, Thats a little update for my blog! I hope you, dear reader, have had a wonderful day and I shall see you the next time I write.

 

BUH-BYE! <3

 

#1 Describe your favourite sound.

Could I have one particular sound that I could define as my favourite? Favourites are things that make you happy, that make you feel good inside, that warm bubbly feeling inside that accompanies a grin and bright eyes. So how could you define one single sound in life as something you would say is your favourite?
It’s really difficult to decide upon one sound. I’m trying to choose, but there are endless possibilities. Things I like to hear? Certain songs, I suppose. The click click clicking of these typed words, releasing and jotting down my thoughts to electronic paper. Voices. Especially their voice.
Perhaps it could be their voice. I could easily listen to their voice for hours on end and have done many a time. It’s soft, familiar and comforting. And yes, it does make me happy to hear them. It does indeed give me that bubbly feeling inside, and make my eyes bright as I grin uncontrollably.
Then perhaps that is it. My favourite sound is their voice.

#2 You are underwater, write about how you feel.

If this were like my dream, I would be able to breathe easily under the water. I would feel weightless, as if I could fly. It would be murky, however. Hard for me to see what would be so close in front of me. I would always head up to the surface, to find the feeling of relief as I took a deep breath. Sometimes the water would remain in my eyes for a while during the dream, it drives me crazy when that happens. No matter how much I try to blink away the haze, it would remain relentlessly. It annoys me when I can’t see in dreams, when I’m left guessing things.

#3 Write the person who makes you the happiest a thank you letter.

Hey. Hey you. Yeah, you. You beautiful little thing you. So, I’m writing this letter to you. What kind of letter? A thank you letter. You amaze me. You make me so happy. I don’t know how on earth we got to how be how we are now, but you know what? I don’t regret it one bit. I’m lucky to have you be part of my topsy turvy life. So lucky. Without you, I’d have no passion for life. I’d have continued to just..be alive instead of living. It makes me sad to know the hardships you’ve been through in your past, and when you mention something, however tiny it is, that reminds me of what you’ve been through because I wish that somehow I could have done something to help. It was a while before our friendship began, our wonderful, beautiful friendship, but I still feel like… I want to have been part of it all to make it better, more bearable at least. But I’m happy you endured it and became a stronger person from it, so that I could meet you. And now I’ll be here for you no matter what happens like I know you’ll be there for me no matter what happens. I know I complain about absolutely everything to you, and I’ve got to thank you for not ever getting mad at me for being annoying and perhaps a little clingy. I’m only clingy because I love you, and I’m, in all honesty, deathly afraid of losing you. For whatever reason. Even thinking about it brings tears to my eyes. I am truly a blessed young woman to know you, let alone be part of your life like I am, so for that I thank you. Thank you so so much. You are an amazing person, and I think you are wonderful, and caring, and so smart, and resourceful, trustworthy, creative and funny. There is nobody like you in this universe, and I’m so grateful out of the billions of people on this planet that I got to meet you and be your best friend. So again, thank you so much for being you, and for letting me be me, too.

#4 And you thought dragons didn’t exist…

"And you thought Dragons didn’t exist!", he scoffed as both boys peered out from behind the jagged rock. The dragon snarled in their direction and wrestled against its restraints, the bolts of the chains almost screeching in protest from the force.
“It looks angry, Kilroy, we should keep our distance..”
“Nonsense,” Kilroy proclaimed as he stood up straight and circled around the rock. “It’s perfectly harmless while its chained up as it is. Don’t be such a squirmy little rat tail, Percy.”
“It’s eyes, Kilroy…” Percy hesitated to leave the protection of the stone shield, but slowly made his way out to follow his friend. The dragons bright purple eyes followed Percy’s movements as he stepped closer. The chest of the beast rumbled, a sound so vicious it stunned Kilroy, who had closed at least half of the gap between them. Percy was somewhat unglazed by the sound. His eyes were on the beasts eyes, which now that he was closer looked pitiful. Percy was mesmerised by he beautiful creature.
“It’s…bleeding, Perc… At least, I think it is. There’s some green gunk coming oozing from the anklet.” Kilroy bent down and tried to focus his eyes to get a better look, meanwhile Percy was getting closer to the dragon.
“You poor creature. I wonder who chained you up in here.” He was so close now that Percy could feel the warmth of the dragons breathe on his face. His movements were slow and precise as he reached out his hand to press it to the dragons muzzle, allowing the creature to sniff at the boy. Percy was not afraid of the dragon attacking him for the beasts mouth was clamped shut.
As Percy began to look closer at this magnificent creature, Kilroy was further investigating the room and had found something of interest.
“It’s a girl dragon…” Kilroy said, looking over his shoulder to Percy.
“And how do you know that exactly..?” The other boy asked, with slight teasing in his voice.
“…I found its egg.”
And sure enough, in front of Kilroy was a black and purple egg the size of a wild bore placed upon a pedestal sat next to a small table, encased in thick glass. And on the table was a thick leather bound book entitled “Life, Death and Dragons.”

I was very unaware that it was Children in need tomorrow. Well, its safe to say that everybody at work will be wearing PJs all day. I get to wear my adventure time PJ bottoms that I got in Hot Topic whilst I was in Knoxville. My favourite things ever. These PJs have Finn, Jake and the Ice King all over them, their faces in little bubbles. Misa found that if she tickled the ice king faces on my thigh, it was the funniest thing ever. Yeah, she was always tickling me. I guess I’m just a easy tickle target. o.O

Anyway, On monday night I had my trial shift at the Holiday Inn Zoey works at. I’m waiting to hear back about it, but the head chef said I did pretty well considering. Apparently it was a lot busier than its been for a long time, so they were swept off their feet a little. I did a couple food-y things, but I took myself aside to catch up on the dishwashing because they were running out of the pans and everything they were using, so I pushed all the stuff through the HUUUUGGEEE industrial dishwasher they have. Zoey helped me a lot, though. I would have been so stressed and worried if she wasnt there, oh days.

I had to work today because our other baker has a chest infection. More money for Vicky, yay. Sad about not being able to have a lie in this morning, but when the wages come in at the end of the month, It’ll be worth it. Plus I would much rather work in the bakery when Brenda is off because on Tuesday (When they didnt bother telling me about it) they made such a mess it was ridiculous to come back to on Wednesday. None of the slip mats had been washed, the sides hadnt been wiped down and the floor had more crumbs on it than would be there if Brenda and I didnt sweep for a month. (Which we dont do, because we clean up after ourselves properly)

and dont even get me started on the waste. There was a whole DAYS WORTH OF WASTE. I swear down, it was the most awful thing I’ve ever seen. And now that waste is sat in a trolley out the back of the store because they have a day to day waste budget to stick to so they dont care about it. That place, I swear.

I finally caved in, I’m going to the Christmas dinner with work. Dawn convinced me. Oh well, I guess if I can wear my new purple dress (Yes, I wear dresses now, and I enjoy purple so very much these days) then its alright. I do like my new dress. It was 7 pound on amazon. How amazing is that!?

But, I must go and scroll through Pintrest now, because thats where my addiction has taken me to. I love that site. Ahhh, pintrest, how I love thee.

Until the next post, dearest reader. BUH-BYE!