Here we go. Welcome to my funeral.
Without you I dont even have a pulse.
All alone, it's dark and cold.
With every move I die

Here I go
This is my confession oh
A lost cause nobody can save my soul
I am so delusional
With every move I die

I have destroyed our life,
It's gone
Payback is sick
It's all my fault

I'm dancing with tears in my eyes
Just fighting to get through the night
I'm losing it
With every move I die

I'm fading
I'm broken inside
I've wasted the love of my life
I'm losing it
with every move I die

When did I become such a hyprociate
Double life, lies that you caught me in
Trust me i'm paying for it with every move I die

On the floor im just a zombie who I am is not who I wanna be
I'm such a tradegy with every move I die

I have destroyed our life,
It's gone
Payback is sick
It's all my fault

I'm dancing with tears in my eyes
Just fighting to get through the night
I'm losing it
With every move I die

I'm fading
I'm broken inside
I've wasted the love of my life
I'm losing it
With every move I die

This is it and now your really gone this time
Never once thought i'd be in pieces left behind

I'm dancing with tears in my eyes
Just fighting to get through the night
I'm losing it
With every move I die

I'm fading
I'm broken inside
I've wasted the love of my life
I'm losing it
With every move I die

Watch your step, love is broken
I am every tear you cry
Save your breath, your heart has spoken
You already have my life

It seems unfair to me that time changes everything. Seconds, minutes, hours, days, weeks, months, years. No matter how hard you try, change is inevitable. I wont accept it. I never will. In some cases, things change for the worse, but then change to be the best thing in your life. Thats an acceptable change, I guess, because, after all, you have to learn from mistakes made by yourself and others. Thats just how the world is. You’re only human. No one can be perfect.

For I am finding out that love will kill and save me
Taking the dreams that made me up
And tearing them away
But the same love will take this heart that's barely beating
And fill it with hope beyond the stars
Only love

I can home today from school and went straight on my laptop to my Twitter account. I checked my @Replies and began to read. My eyes began to water at the message I had received.

Seann - @vickyvictoria10 it's raining and I wish u were here for a sleepover. Rude Boy is playing on the radio,and there's nothing I want more than to be able to talk with you again while you prance around to show me your house, then read Catch Me and bug you to reply to my review,exchange voice recordings with you. .all I really want to say is that I miss you. So much. It hurts.

I cant find the words to tell you how much I miss you too, Seann. Id gladly spend hours making up some word to tell you how much I miss you, but Im not good with neologism’s. I know it hurts for you. It hurts for me too. It seems like ages ago when I first found your story on FanFiction. You had already written 42 chapters at that point. My first review was on the fifth chapter telling you that I was going to continue reading. And I did. That was the 16th February 2010. Later that day, I sent you this review.

Phew, After 4 straight hours of reading from the very start, Im here at the newest chapter ! You really dont know how much i love this story. Its made me laugh, Cry, smile and go "Aw" countless numbers of times. Your an amazing writer, dont let anybody tell you otherwise. I cant wait for the next installments and i will be reading everyday. Alice and Jasper forever ... in holy matrimony ... in seven years anyway, haha. Im on the edge of my seat, even if i AM sat on the floor. Haha. Ly lots for writing all of this !

Love Alice-oxox

X

That was the begining. And here we are. You, Louise and I. Missing each other. Hopefully you will get a new laptop soon. Then you can update your blog, fanfictions and Facebook like you used to. And dont forget our MSN chats. I miss your laughter on the speakers. Time will bring us all together again, just like it took us apart. I know it will.

Another day, another sunrise
Washing over everything
In its time, love will be mine
The beauty and the tragedy

Just thought I'd have a little note before my actual update. For anyone wondering, all of the pictures I use for my posts are taken by me with my camera phone. Only one or two of the pictures are off the internet, and I try not to use them too often. As you can probally tell from my pictures, I am pretty amazed by the sky. Clouds and Sunsets are my favourite thing to look at by far, along with flowers and rivers. This picture is me and my beyond sexy yellow outfit on Brean sands Beach, which is by weston-super-mare. I dont know how old I was, but Ill take a guess of about seven or eight. :)

Okay, Im off to write my update :P

x

Everyone has the rights to be seen and heard right? Here are a few people's things that deserve a second glance -

http://twicandy.blogspot.com/

http://www.fanfiction.net/s/5910808/1/Moulin_rouge_ending_rewritten

http://www.fanfiction.net/s/5638316/1/It_Makes_You_Human

Ill add more as I find 'em ;)

xxxx

@Seannishere Posting a twitter poem for @vickyvictoria10 - will be made on the spot.

Music Box - By Seann Pangilinan

Magic,magic,the box sang along. Enchanted music, the notes softly weaved.
A princess danced in tune with the song. Minutes later, her only audience would leave.
The princess frowned and sat on her heels. She took off her shoes with their pink ribbons dangling.
Nobody would know how she really feels. Nobody would see when the tears were falling.
Behind the door,a girl was watching.Her eyes were set on the one who was crying.
The door creaked open,and the princess stood.And ever so quickly,she faked a smile,like she should.
The girl entered, her head on her elbows. Wondering what might have caused the princess's deep sorrow.
She turned the plastic key,the music played. And like nothing happened, the princess swayed.
The girl spoke up,in a clear voice,she asked. ''Why are you pretending to be happy for us?''
The princess smiled,and fell down her knees.Blinking back the tears,she blew the girl a kiss.
The girl just nodded,and farewell,she waved.Beneath the thick brick wall,she started to wail.
The princess was left lonely inside her music box. She was feeling forgotten,it was love that she lacks.

-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Shortly after I read this poem, one thing lead to the other and I was left with tears in my eyes. If anyone ever tells you life is simple, dont believe them. Life is a couple of million rivers that flow into each other at some point. Each river starts at their highest point and flow down from there. Some parts of the river are dry, some are narrow, but in the they always end up flowing into the sea.

This post popped into my head around lunch time today while I was walking home for my lunch. I had just been in school for psychology and had two hours before my next lesson. Listening to Trading Yesterday songs on my phone, my mind started to wander as I dawdled home. I was thinking about the nice moments in life. I saw a garden full of different types of flowers and they were all different colours. In my head, I started to put together a little list of all the smells that made me smile like freshly mown grass or the breeze in the spring. There are a few I came up with. Seaside air, the smell of the air when walking past a pub in the summer, the air at night especially after rain. I was thinking about these and then the strangest thing happened. As I crossed the road I got this strong perfume smell. No one was around so I was confused. It smelt just like my nana’s perfume. This wasnt the first time I had randomly smelt her perfume. My nana died a few years ago because of this sort of liver disease. The immune system in her body had started to fight against itself. I dont exactly believe the whole angel or ghost thing fully, but you never know, right?

Besides that, todays weather was good. I was pretty tired and still am, but its okay because tomorrow is friday and friday’s only mean one lesson at 12:10pm. Seeing that I havent done the homework for that lesson, however.....
Tomorrow night Im going to Pizza hut and to the Cinema which is good because I’ve been craving salted popcorn for about a week now. Well, that was my day. It was normal but good. Roll on block release !!!

xxx

Summer !? Are we there yet !?


My weekend was spent in the garden with my laptop, extenstion lead and USB stick. I still have rather alot of work to do right now but I dont really care. Sitting under the setting sun and listening to radio one’s chart show all alone just reminds me that I really am just that...alone. My parents are indoors watching television while the weather outside is the best it’s been all year. Throwing away a chance, I guess. Tuesday, I have to go back to school. I thank school for setting me a routine because all ive done over this half term is sit around doing bugger all, but on the other hand, it just stress’s me out too much. I swear im going to be just as grey haired as the head teacher.... although he is ginger one day and grey the next, so maybe I wont.

Music is my friend. Silence just helps my over-active imagination. Its not a good thing, I tend to start worrying. I never used to listen to much music when I was younger. I only really got into the charts music when I went into year 11 if im honest, the last year of compulsary school. Before that I was all.... I dont know, but the music taste I had wasnt exactly in fashion with people my age. I listen to the charts a lot now.

Okay, So I’ll have to blog later I guess. A wasp is getting to close for comfort and I just got handed a bowl of cheesey chips. Living life in the moment is so much better !!