Two days until I say goodbye to being sixteen.

This picture was from a few weeks ago when my dad and I, along with Christopher, Kelly, Benjamin, Dominic and Natasha, went to Bradingstoke carnival or whatever it was. It was an alright day. My dad was such a rebel, he parked our green Peugout 306 next to all the vintage cars. Our car was parked next to a bunch of tractors and a Rolce Royce car or whatever it is. Im not good with cars, I had to google how to spell Peugout for goodness sake. Here's me being forced to pose next to a Tra'or.



My laptop, as you know, is completely dead. I think it deserves as much as a last mention. R.I.P Lappytop. We will miss you. Fujitsu Siemens. ;)



So, yesterday I was sat in the living room watching my niece and nephew's playing on the Xbox 360 when I turned to my right to look at my dad. He was sat in the arm chair next to the mantle peice, and I looked up to see the pink birthday card from my aunt Jackie that I had opened early anyway. But just behind it, was a little bit of white, so unsuspectingly I took the card and looked at it. My mum saw me looking at it and was all "I hid that from you for a reason" and I was like... "oh well" and looked at the stamp. Well, here's what I saw.



Pointing at the stamp and showing my dad, I asked "Does this mean its from Ireland?" and he nodded. Seconds later, I was crying in front of my family. I dont know why, I just burst into tears. Im over dramatic, according to Seann. But Oh my actual days. I opened the letter a little later on webcam to Louise, who had sent it to me. I, yet again, am sorry for crying hysterically on webcam, Louise. I may have opened my letter, which was from Louise and Seann, early but it must be the best thing I have ever got. Ever!






Gawd, I like, love my friends.

#RandomFact I have blog readers in Cornwall? Hello, Shout-out to you, my friend.

Wednesday was a majorly awesome day. Now to sound like Becca... "That was the best day of my ACTUAL life." It was Rebeccaaarrrr's seventeenth birthday. I bought her a nice little card and decorated some balloons. I bought a banner, too. Then her main present was a basket of assorted cheese's. Yes, cheese. It may sound a bit odd, but I just know Becca too well. Crackers, Cheese and Dibdabs. After school, I drove all the way to the hospital to have my last of three injections for the cervical cancer thing and then I drove all the way to greenbridge. We had Pizza hut, which was amazing, and then we went across to the cinema to watch Toy Story 3D. It made me cry with the hand holding and the not saying anything and the best friend sobbing next to me. It was pretty funny too though. Would definatly tell you to go and watch it.

But now, It is friday and the summer holidays are here. My arm is aching so much and I think I had a fever last night because I was all weird and shakey for no reason. Injections are horrible. :(

Today, Becca and I are going out to the cinema again but this time we're watching Eclipse. My second time, but Im not complaining. Jasper and Alice scene's, I will still squeal at you. :')

#RandomFact Santa's handwriting looks alot like my dads. Just saying.

My birthday in six days. Today is Becca's birthday, and she got a few looks when we were walking down the road with her balloons and such. She had a basket of cheese too, from moi. Yes, I know, I got her a load of different cheese's for her birthday. Does that sound strange? Yes. Did she love it? Hell yes! She loves her cheese. And her seafood. She hates the question: "Which do you like better, Cheese or Seafood?"

She will never be able to pick !!

Tonight, at 5:30, im having my third and final cervical cancer jab. And let me tell you, Im not good with needles. At. All. Pain and me do not go well together. Neither do balloons.

I was blowing a balloon up over and over again in my lesson this morning and my teacher told me to either put it down or choke on it and die. Charming.

After the injection, Im heading off to Pizza Hut for Becca's party. Becca, Tom P. and I are going to eat until we feel sick and then waddle on over to the cinema to watch Toy Story 3. We want Parker to cry. He had better cry, because Toy Story is meant to make grown men cry.

Well, Im off to get ready. Lets hope my injection doesnt make me feel sick. And most likely, it will make my arm ache for several days. Help me!!

#RandomFact I shower naked. Im such a rebel. ;)

Do you ever get the whole can't be bothered-y feeling when you know your just about to finish something? Like, your reading the last book in your favourite series, but you just cant be bothered to read the last chapter properly, or when your writing your last essay for something, and you know you only have to cover a few more sub-headings but you just cant make yourself sit there and type it all out. Well, thats whats happening right now. I have my It Btec essay to do, and its due wednesday. Have I finished it? No. Do I want to finish it? Hell, yeah! But can I force myself to? Hell, Hell no.

Its just so boring. Its about crappy management information systems. Because our teachers genrally buggered us all up by not understanding how to run the course, we havent got time to faf about (is that how you spell faf? Jeesh, hard word much?) learning whatnot before writing about it. Oh no, we basically read a book, and writing it in essay form in our own words. Kids, dont take a new course, let some other idiots test the waters before you don your swimming cossies.

So, my mum's fine now. She doesnt have cancer, it was just a weird infection caused by the inhalor she was using to help quit smoking. Great. As if she need more excuses to not stop. Seriously, Im not going to even start. Ya know, about two years ago, all the way back to when I was in year 10, I ran away for a few hours in the dark. Reason? My mum wouldnt let me on the laptop. I know it sounds stupid, and hell yeahs it is, but Im a teenage girl, and I was 15 back then, obviously, and almost as hormonal as I am now. Im a human teenage girl, with hormones. Whatchya gunna do?

So anyway, the whole laptop aspect has always been a big issue since my mum bought one. for herself. That was my old laptop, back when it was hers, and when it actually worked. She bought it, but she didnt use it often, that is until my sister introduced her to facebook and free online computer games. Oh, the non-existant joy. Eventually, the laptop gave up. It was constantly overheating and turning itself off and whatnot. So, my mum bought a new laptop. Oh, the old one still worked, and she gave it to my sister to get my cousin, Martin, to fix it because he's all computer genious-y. A few months after mum got her new laptop, we finally got the old one back. It worked perfectly. Except the whole overheating problem melted the charger, so my mum went out and bought and new charger and hey! presto chango! (Lol, I used that the other day and thought it was pretty funny) I got a laptop!

Then, the new charger blew up. That was a month ago, maybe? So I used an old adapter, which worked fine until the laptop plastic disfigured around the charging hole. And thats why I have no laptop. Now, Im forced to share with my mum. Oh, and how fun that is! She places her metaphorically crowned cup of tea on the dining room table as if its a signal for me to give the laptop back. and then if that fails, she hovers. I swear she lives to agitate me. Excuse me, I may have gone insane, but her breathing annoys me. Yeah, I blame the hormones.

I must have gone insane though, if its not hormones. Last night, I just laid on my matress (Because I dont have a bed, lol) and my mums voice was all I heard in my head. Yeah, I must be mental. It was so annoying. It actually made me get really agitated, too. and then I dreamt about stabbing her. and that was too far, too too far. I woke up and slapped myself (Mentally ofcourse, not physically, I think im insane enough)

Its just like she lives to annoy me sometimes. I mean, I love her to bits when shes not all annoyingly depressed and complaining, but Im constantly on edge around her, waiting for her to say something. Its like she knows it too, that she goes out of her way just to make my life a living hell.

See, I know that I need a job, but my mum wont shut up about it. She always argues back too. I tell her I need to make a CV, but she says I dont need one, when I really do. She's all "You dont need a CV for a part-time Job" She hasnt worked for over ten years, as if she's knows! and then I tell her that its kinda hard to get a job in Swindon because of the whole recession thing. There just arent many jobs, and the jobs availiable are given to people who are older, more experienced and dont still attend school. She really believes that its just as easy to get a job now as it was when she was my age. Hello, Mum, that was in the 70's !! Get an actual clue.

Okay, so I guess I did start. =/

Okay, I think its safe to say that Ive just had a mother rant of all mother rants. I could go on, but Im not going to. Im going to go read that "How not to murder your mother" book. Okay, Im not really, Im going to make me some grub, because its 12;35, my mums still in bed and Id much rather be on Twitter and check emails. Anyway's, I just started reading the next House of Night book "Burned"

Now, Im really hungry, so, g'day.

oxoxoxoxoxoxo Hugs and sloppy kisses.


#RandomFact I was sat in the car, admiring my legs. I said something like "Becca wants my legs" and then my mum turns around and says "Youve got my legs" and then turns around. Somehow, I highly doubt that, mother. (If you knew my mum, you'd probally laugh at this.)

A life of difficult choices.

Born in the 1640's.

He followed his fathers footsteps and ended up losing everything.

Hiding from the outside world as his own world changed, he turned from a human to a bloodthirsty monster.

With the gift of compassion, he learned to live with the scent of temptation.

He travelled far from home to learn the things he knows now.

He saved many lives, but then came the time to save from certain death.

Doing as Elisabeth Masen had asked him to, he saved her son from dieing from Spanish Influenza.

He taught Elisabeth's son his way of life, only drinking the blood of an animal.

Wisconsin, 1921 came and with it, hope and love.

She had attempted to end her life after her child passed away, but he felt for her and changed her, too.

It didnt take long for them to fall in love, and marry.

Then slowly, his coven changed to a family.

With his family, he felt whole again.

Carlisle.

"Taking her hand, I looked back to see that my friend was not who I thought she was. I saw the truth, and this acquaintance had shown me that. and In showing me, she became my best friend"







She was confused for one of the first times of her life, But little did she know that the next six months would be full of this confusion. She didnt realise it then, but she was stood at a fork in the road. She could chose one way, or the other. She chose to go down the road she saw would best fit her changing attitudes towards the world, but now she's wondering where the other road would have lead to.

Would it have lead to pain and solitude?

Would it not matter which path was chosen then, that the outcome here was inevitable?

Would she be stuck like she used to be, the friend of an outsider and nothing more?

She shakes her head. Ofcourse not
Her choice was the right one. Wasnt it?

If only I could go back and see what the other path would lead me to. Maybe that would give me an insight into whether I gave up the right thing. By chosing to leave behind everything I knew for a change to grow as a person, did I chose right?

I really did do just that though, didnt I? I gave up everything I knew, left it behind me, and ran away.

She has run away, but from what? To what?

From the person she had always thought had saved her when she most needed rescuing to someone who had just appeared and offered her hand?
From the person who had slowly destroyed her hope of being liked by others to a person who might be able to give her a better chance of being a normal teenager?

She went to the person her heart seemed to trust more, even though the one she ran from was a bubble of hope she saw in the darkness no more than two years before. That bubble popped the second she took her new friends hand and the facade melted. Her old friend, as that is what she is now, was no longer the person who could always make her laugh. She was the horrible manipulative outsider everybody else saw her for.

But back then, she was young and naive. Only fourteen.

She never knew.

She did chose the right thing. She's always reminded that when her friend drags her out to watch a film or drags her into the town centre, something that she hadnt done often before. She chose the best thing and left the past behind her, where it belongs.

Just take the leap. Your heart knows what your doing, even if you dont.

The charger gave up this morning. Joy. Im blogging via my mothers laptop. It helps if I get on it before she wakes up, which is what I did. Im actually in panic mode right now. Well, the subtle kind of panic mode. I've seemed to have misplaced my keys, and with them my USB stick with all of my IT Btec work on. Problem is, I have one more assignment to do, due for wednesday, and all of it is on that USB stick.

So, Im just concentrating on tonight with Zoey and Eclipse. Although, in the back of my mind, Im worrying that I wont find the keys until next month. When I lost my headphones, I couldnt find them for months! and I need my USB more than the headphones. I always misplace things at the worst of times. I just hope its at school or something. And If it is, I hope my teacher, Mr Thomas, has it safe in his desk or something. I have screenshots of MSN convo's with Louise and Seann on that thing, among other pictures and blog templates and lots of work.

#RandomFact I fell off a swing a few weeks back, but it was the best thing ever. I had one hand on the phone i was passed and the other on the chain and I slipped to land on my feet. I felt like a ninja, just before the pain in my hand appeared. I now have this weird blood mark under one of my nails.