Saturday 7th august-

BBQ at Sam's house. Mum and dad left at half 8, which is also when I was going to leave, and I was not happy about that whatsoever. Sam let me stay over the night so I ended up crashing out on the extremely comfy livingroom sofa at 3am. I made friends with a few of my sisters work-mates who were all really nice. Shannon is the same age as me, 17, but she looks older, whereas Sarah is 20 but looks my age. I kept drinking Pim's and Lemonade, and Jamie, a guy ive known for like ages but not seen alot, kept asking me how old I was when I got another drink. I did the whole 'Becca/ Lizzie thing" which is sitting down and drinking, and then getting up and feeling how drunk you actually are. I couldnt feel my legs. It was so funny. Now there are pictures on Sarah's facebook of me chopping wood with an axe that I dont even remember doing.

Sunday 8th august-
Woke up around 11am, which seeing there is a 4 year old and an 8 year old in the house, it was pretty good. Watched as my sister attempted to clean the back garden up. Attempted because a cake had been left out on the table and there was hundreds of wasps around it. It was crazy! Had another BBQ that night before my dad drove me home. Got home to find a 12 year old child eating all my food. He's apparently staying over with my 30 year old cousin.

Monday 9th august-
I dont even remember what I did on this day. Most likely just on the computer all day like the phat lazy ass I am.

Tuesday 10th august-
I was on my third/fourth twitter account all day. (My bad. =/) Rain was horrible, but when It stopped, Charr Larr and I went to the shops so I could get some energy drinks, which Im banned from having but oh well.

Charr Larr and I. We're like... Childhood Bezzies. Lolz, Bezzies. Best Friends*

Wednesday 11th august-
Today.....

To do list:
Shower
Clean the bathroom for my mum, which includes cleaning the toilet. Ew.
5pm, get picked up and go to see Eclipse for the 3rd time. With a guy-friend.

Shut up, Becca.
My head hurts.

I loved this youtube series when It came out. It was the funniest thing out there at the time.

Im trying to find you, but you're no where to be seen.

I was told this earth had this one special person looking for me. Did somebody tell that to you, too?

I want to find you. Jump onto a building and shout at the top of my lungs. But, I dont even know your name. Do you know mine?

Could you point to me on a map and plot a path to me? Come on, come find me. Take one look at my fragile heart and take me under your wing until the end of time.

My heart is shouting these words every time I breathe. My soul sighs in my sleep. Im fed up with this emptiness, even if I cant feel it all the time. Its still there. Constantly reminding me that I havent even met you yet. Im waiting, but how long for? Are you waiting, too?

Are you waiting in my heart?

I put my heart in a red balloon,
But I let it go too soon.
Let it go on the boulevard,
Where wicked winds blow so hard.

Maybe if I looked up I would have seen that,
The sky is full of red balloons
Red balloons are full of broken hearts.
Broken hearts are floating by a chance
will they burst or drift into arms?

I put my eyes in a red balloon
to watch you with the light of the moon,
but seeing you holding hands
with another girl and making plans
Well I just had to set you free
and finally see that

Maybe if I looked up I would have seen that,
The sky is full of red balloons
Red balloons are full of broken hearts.
Broken hearts are floating by a chance
will they burst or drift into arms?

Because I'm not normal and dont have any form of photo identification I cant go with Becca to Newcastle. Unlike most seventeen year olds, I dont have a citizenship card nor a passport. Monday night Benjamin, my eight year old nephew, slept over. Yesterday I took him to the cinema to see Shrek, along with Becca and her nephew Ollie, and then bought him back home. Around 11pm last night, he starts crying. He ended up going home because "He missed his family." Before Christopher took him home, he came down with some foam balls I had bought and was all "Can I take these home?"

Kids are so demanding. As is life.

I have no idea what this means, but maybe sombody else can make sense of it.


ADDitIOn save sTill
MEagre aS laTE
ONE PrOmISE loNg HIStOry
75, 64, 55 pubLIC lEadErshIP
31, 2 MEnTAL coMmisSIoNER CoNFirm
wELl REPUbliC
LICEnce OR ArreST
teChnology And uNdErgroUnD
STuDy sCHEDUle MontHlY
YOU bOosT clEaR AlLY
AnD DESERve
wOrDinG wiTHoUt stay
ChamBer PluS BroKer CoNSTrue
orDeRlY PatROlMAN SHAlL pREOCCUpy
aPPRovE thEIr conteNTioN
79, 45 iLLegal sPOT
oUr OfFendEr UNliKE CORrEcTNess

The line where it says "One promise, long history" freaked me out a little. Just saying.

Normal blog post up later today. Thunder and lightening scaring me a little too much right now.

Half a page about Rebecca.

And now you all go away thinking
:') -Tear- I wish she was my friend.

I cried for you
When the sky cried for you
And when you went
I became a hopeless drifter
But this life was not for you
Though I learned from you,
That beauty need only be a whisper

Hold onto everything you have, the good and the bad, because you dont know when it'll slip out of reach.

My mum told me to stay strong for you, S. I promise I will try my hardest to help you through this. Things will get easier. I know its hard to look ahead right now, but It will get easier.

I liked him, He was right for you.

I'm sorry.