Are we just going to wait it out?

Where do we go from here?
How do we carry on?
I can't get beyond these questions...

Clambering for the scraps in the shatter of us collapsed
that cuts me with every could-have-been
Pain on pain on play repeating
with the backup, makeshift life in waiting

Everybody says time heals everything
but what of the wretched hollow?
The endless in between
are we just going to wait it out?

So, kinda blogging as I feel like I need to write down how I feel right now. Maybe to understand it a little better? I’m not entirely sure. All I know is that right now, as well as last night, I’m feeling extremely vulnerable and insecure. I don’t know exactly why this is, but I’m pretty sure it isn’t just one thing.

I know that, next month is my last ever month of school. I’ve been at this school for the past seven years! Not exactly been good all the way through, but some days make the bad ones not matter any more. Anyway, my point it, by the beginning of July, the month in which I turn 18, I will have finished school completely, and I will be smacked full on in the face with the impending disaster of my life that is adulthood, and with it, a job.

I’ve never actually sat down and decided what I wanted to be. I’ve never aspired to anything, so does that mean I’ll just end up being a failure? Not necessarily, I know, but as I said, feeling insecure and vulnerable, and at times like these you think about these sort of things.

I’ll blog again some time soon, I have to get ready for psychology. ♥